“Here, let me help.”

Like he doesn’t have a dog bed and a giant beanbag chair and several blankets of MINE that he has claimed for his own plus the couch…no, let’s hop in the plastic sterilite bin filled with crafts fabric. And then look smug about it.

My dad rolled into town on Wednesday, and part of the process of convincing him I’m a mature adult was scraping off the fifteen months of grime and dog fur I’d allowed to accumulate on my car. He always notices car stuff, so it was vacuumed, rinsed, scrubbed, sprayed, scrubbed some more, coated with rainbow unicorn jizz goop that smelled like candy, and clearcoated. It was immensely satisfying watching all of the gunk that had gathered in the nooks and crannies of the car get blasted out with a high pressure jet of water, and it was even more satisfying to pretend I was the unicorn jizzing rainbow goo all over everything. After that, we put air in the tires, coolant in the radiator, and windshield wiper fluid in the reservoir. When it was all done, I actually did feel sort of like an adult for approximately three and a half minutes!