Now that it’s officially fall, the time is right for a fall adventure. Namely, corn mazing, pumpkin patching, and petting farm animals. We visited The Farm at Swan’s Trail in Snohomish on opening day and were excited to see that in addition to a corn maze and a pumpkin patch, they also offer apple picking and duck races. That’s right: duck races. I don’t know how long it took to train the little quackers to speed down their trough and then fly back to their pen once the race was over, but I appreciate the trainer’s diligence, as the races were delightful. They zip through the water very quickly and adorably, and they’ve solidified for me that should I decide to raise any backyard fowl for eggs, it’s going to be ducks and not chickens.

From front to back: Big Jim, Steve, Butch, Sundance, Chocolate Thunder, Aflac, Chuck, and Moose the Goose

I rooted for Chocolate Thunder both times, and both times he came in dead last.

The Farm at Swan’s Trail has put their own spin on their corn maze: instead of doing a Halloween theme, they have recreated the state of Washington and the major roads and thoroughfares therein on twelve acres, with bits of trivia and information about each city marked on the map. You can start at one of four starting cities in eastern Washington, and the goal is to exit at Gray’s Harbor. Along the way, there are a few “road closures” so you can’t just blaze across the entire state on I-90.

Not really all that different from the real Spokane.

They even recreated Sam Hill’s Stonehenge with a corn twist!

The Peace Arch looks a little different than I remember, though.

They include three wooden bridges in the corn to simulate the real world bridges: one at Vantage, one at Grand Coulee Dam, and the one we all remember watching shake apart in physics class, the Tacoma Narrows or Gallopin’ Gertie. On these bridges, you can just barely see some landmarks peep out of the top of the corn. On some years, you see a little bit more, but it’s all dependent on the height of the corn, which grew to extraordinary heights this year. We only saw the tippy top of the Space Needle and the Peace Arch–everything else was hidden by corn.

Space needle!

When we got into the area of the corn that would roughly be categorized as our neighborhood, I sent Jason off to simulate skulking in the shadows like a teenage delinquent, because I’ve got to find some way to laugh about what’s been going on in our backyard. I really enjoyed the Washington map maze–granted, you’re never really “lost” insofar as you know your roads, but it was also fun to visit all of the cities in miniature and learn interesting bits about their history. For instance, I never knew about the British/U.S. territory dispute in the San Juan Islands that was sparked by a pig (later dubbed “The Pig War”). I bet this place is a hit with schools for field trips! After we finished the corn maze, we checked out the hay maze, which, as it turns out, is really only a maze for those persons under two feet tall, and ends in a slide that I feel I could have easily cracked in half with my ass…so not really for adults. But I’m sure it’s a blast for kids!

They’ve also got a petting zoo area at the farm, with a pony, a donkey, some goats, and some wee fuzzy pigs, whom I discovered don’t much appreciate being petted on their fat little piggy cheeks. Thus rejected, I went off to eat my feelings with some kettle corn, which we dubbed our “hot kettle corn baby”.

Rock-a-bye kettle corn on the treetop When the wind blows you’ll fall in my mouth when the bough breaks you’ll fall in my mouth and down will come kettle corn into my mouth

Pretty catchy, no?

When we’d pumpkined and mazed and patted and kettle corned to our heart’s content, we set off to another farm stand that had advertised large boxes of honeycrisp apples for sale as well as fresh-pressed cider and u-pick flowers. I like all of those things. I especially liked that they also had sheep. Cute, fuzzy, baaing sheep.

I picked approximately a truckload of dahlias for under ten bucks, and I brought home enough honeycrisp apples to make a 10 pound pie and STILL have apples leftover, so I’m calling this a successful fall adventure!

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Our one year anniversary fell on a gorgeous day, so we decided to make the most of it and drive to Crystal Mountain and take their gondolas up to the summit for what they call the best view of Mount Rainier. We’ve been having a lot of problems with teens (and young adults) dealing and doing drugs and partying in the lot area behind our house–over the summer, I’d been telling everyone I saw back there that they needed to go somewhere else, and the reaction has been about what you’d expect: a couple of apologies, a few “old nosy bitch” remarks and that’s been that. But our neighbor has also been telling people they can’t be back there any longer, going a step further and telling them that if he saw them again, he’d take their pictures and call the police, and things have started to escalate. Our house has been egged. A package was taken from our doorstep, ripped open, the contents mutilated and scattered through our front and back yards, in broad daylight. The very next day, the day before our anniversary, someone started a fire behind the neighbor’s house, also in broad daylight. So when we left for our daytrip, we were both more than a little anxious that something would happen while we were gone, and we both began pointing out houses for sale further and further in the boonies (“A two hour commute each way isn’t so bad, is it? Plus we could have horses! I find the scent of manure really quite invigorating.”) Thankfully, nothing happened that day and with any luck, this entire thing will blow over. There are some killer houses for sale with amazing views out there, though, if we can ever figure out a way around the commute issue.

Is this the fabled double-decker outhouse?!

You’re wrong, Bill Speidel. You CAN eat Mount Rainier.

When we bought our tickets for the gondola ride, the ticket-seller asked if we planned on eating at the restaurant at the top of the mountain, The Summit House. When we replied in the affirmative, she said that since we didn’t have reservations, it’s unlikely that we’d be able to eat there, and if they could fit us in their schedule, it would be a two to three hour wait, but we were welcome to buy snacks in their gift shop and take them up to the top with us. We took one look at their dusty Cheetos and decided we’d take our chances on the top of the mountain. I don’t know where the two to three hour figure came from, but The Summit House was able to seat us immediately on their patio, at what I would consider the best seat in the house. When you have such gorgeous views all around you, why would you want to sit indoors? The food there is expensive, which has everything to do with the location and the view and not the quality. Which isn’t to say it’s bad: just overpriced. My watermelon salad was refreshing and delicious, Jason enjoyed whatever the hell it was that he ordered, and the only regret came in the $10 mixed drink we both ordered: their “house squeezed lemonade with vodka”. On a sunny late summer day on a patio, how could that fail to be amazing? I’ll tell you: when the “lemonade” turns out to be two shreds of lemon flesh in a glass of water. I would swear on my life there was no vodka in that glass. Just water with a hint of lemon. It tasted like disappointment in a plastic cup.

What a cheeky little bugger!

Pinkies out, though. They’re not total animals.

After lunch, we lounged around in the chairs provided outside the patio and watched nature while taking in the view. The nature-watching namely involved a couple of fat friendly chipmunks we named Chubbs and Chubbs II. Sure, there were other, slimmer, more nervous chipmunks there, but Chubbs and Chubbs II were much more interesting companions. While ordinary chipmunks are concerned about their personal space above all, Chubbs and Chubbs II only care about three things: if you have food, if you’re willing to share, and if you have any more.

When we tired of having chipmunks crawl all over us like adorable rabies vectors, we proceeded back down the mountain. If the gondolas had been open past sundown, I definitely would have stayed to see the sunset. Instead, I’ll see if I can catch it on their webcam.

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