Flashback Friday: Oahu About Fifteen Years Ago

April 24, 2015 Comments Off read Hawaii, Pacific, Travel, USA, West

Me and my “psychotic friends network” shirt, because I can always be counted upon to keep it classy.

I’m off in Oahu with a group of awesome people, and prepping for this trip made me dig up the photos from the last time I was there. I hadn’t thought about it for a long time, and it was surprising how flipping through the album brought everything back. Snorkeling in Hanauma Bay for hours and realizing afterward that I’d forgotten to put sunscreen on the backs of my legs, which made sitting difficult for a week. Hiking in brutal heat, learning about native and invasive plant species from a surfer bro named Mitch. Climbing the steep Diamond Head stairs, complaining the entire way. Marveling at the ubiquity of ABC stores. The peace at the grounds of Byodo-In Temple. It’s funny, the stories I remember about the people as well: the night we went to a Korean barbecue restaurant and one of my boyfriend’s aunts grabbed my breasts and said in halting English that they were “very good”. The way Bob would pop his hands off the steering wheel every time he sneezed and said it was a pilot reflex–I remember that every time I sneeze in the car. The time and effort Mitsuko put into ensuring I had a nice trip, even though it was her wedding week. The way she smiled and thanked me for making her son a good person. There was ultra-cringeworthy stuff, too. The way I almost shouted into a cell phone at the Ala Moana mall because I hadn’t really used one before. The way I showed up to the aforementioned wedding in a white dress. How did I not know that was taboo? Why didn’t anyone tell me? How did the bride keep from slapping the shit out of me? This time, I’m going to be in charge of what I see and do. I’ve got so much planned, and I hope that fifteen years from now, my new photos fill me with even more memories of a wonderful time filled with wonderful people. Only maybe this time, I’ll have learned to keep my horizon lines straight.

Spotted on the Roadside: Vinehenge in Escondido, CA

April 17, 2015 Comments Off read California, Pacific, Spotted on the Roadside, Travel, USA, West

Escondido’s Grape Day Park wouldn’t be the same without its unique playground, dubbed “Vinehenge” by the creators. Sprawling vines are designed to climb and swing upon, mosaic leaves rise up from the ground to form the cutest seats, and a slide is encased in a bunch of vibrant purple grapes. I wondered how the heck I missed this when I worked in Escondido, and as it turns out, the installation was put in place in 2004, six months after I moved out of the area. It’s always fun to see unique playgrounds, especially since so many old, cool structures are being torn down across the country. I vividly remember the playground in my hometown with the huge metal swirly slide that would burn the backs of your legs in the summer sun, and the giant spinning wooden hamster wheel of danger–I don’t think either are there anymore, but I could be wrong. Then again, it’s good that some of these death traps are no longer in action, because the only people who should be pirouetting on a metal barrel that rotates around a metal pole are already in Cirque du Soleil.

Spotted on North Broadway in Escondido, CA.

When I Grow Up, I’m Going to Bovine University: The Mattress Ranch in Bremerton, WA

April 13, 2015 Comments Off read Attractions, Pacific, Travel, USA, Washington, West

I plugged a quarter into their chucklin chicken, and the employee told me I’d need to shake it to get it to work. I took that as an invitation to hulk out and accidentally knocked the chicken right off the top. Whoops! The chicken suffered no lasting harm. My embarrassment has lingered.

Most of the time, a roadside attraction is the business in and of itself. In the case of Mattress Ranch, the roadside attraction was built to support the business. I first drove past Mattress Ranch on my trip to Forks and had intended to stop on my way back, but by then it was too dark for photos and the store was closed. This time, there was an epic backup at the ferry I planned on taking, so in lieu of waiting, I decided to drive around the peninsula instead, the existence of Mattress Ranch tickling the back of my mind. I STILL almost drove right past it again, turning across two lanes of traffic to get into their lot.

After taking photos of the lot, I ventured inside to avail myself of their restroom and see if there was anyone who could answer my questions about the place. As it turned out, one of the employees on site had worked there on and off for the last twenty years and was more than happy to tell me all about the origins of the attraction attached to the store. As it turns out, Mattress Ranch isn’t one store, but a chain of stores in Alaska, Washington, and now Arizona. It feels weird to me to post about a chain store, but then again, this place isn’t exactly Target. Originally, they had a few black and white cows outside, but after the paint started to flake, they decided to spice them up a little, and they haven’t looked back since. Every year, the menagerie out front grows, and so does their commitment to the community, even using 25% of their commercial air time to support charities and other local businesses. I don’t know what it is about strutting around a mattress factory, waving a fistful of money and talking about his cow of a wife and pig of a daughter in law, but I dig this guy’s vibe. He proves, once again, that local commercials are the best commercials.