When I Grow Up, I’m Going to Bovine University: The Mattress Ranch in Bremerton, WA

April 13, 2015 Comments Off read Attractions, Pacific, Travel, USA, Washington, West

I plugged a quarter into their chucklin chicken, and the employee told me I’d need to shake it to get it to work. I took that as an invitation to hulk out and accidentally knocked the chicken right off the top. Whoops! The chicken suffered no lasting harm. My embarrassment has lingered.

Most of the time, a roadside attraction is the business in and of itself. In the case of Mattress Ranch, the roadside attraction was built to support the business. I first drove past Mattress Ranch on my trip to Forks and had intended to stop on my way back, but by then it was too dark for photos and the store was closed. This time, there was an epic backup at the ferry I planned on taking, so in lieu of waiting, I decided to drive around the peninsula instead, the existence of Mattress Ranch tickling the back of my mind. I STILL almost drove right past it again, turning across two lanes of traffic to get into their lot.

After taking photos of the lot, I ventured inside to avail myself of their restroom and see if there was anyone who could answer my questions about the place. As it turned out, one of the employees on site had worked there on and off for the last twenty years and was more than happy to tell me all about the origins of the attraction attached to the store. As it turns out, Mattress Ranch isn’t one store, but a chain of stores in Alaska, Washington, and now Arizona. It feels weird to me to post about a chain store, but then again, this place isn’t exactly Target. Originally, they had a few black and white cows outside, but after the paint started to flake, they decided to spice them up a little, and they haven’t looked back since. Every year, the menagerie out front grows, and so does their commitment to the community, even using 25% of their commercial air time to support charities and other local businesses. I don’t know what it is about strutting around a mattress factory, waving a fistful of money and talking about his cow of a wife and pig of a daughter in law, but I dig this guy’s vibe. He proves, once again, that local commercials are the best commercials.

The Battle in Seattle: Pillow Fight Edition

April 6, 2015 Comments Off read Attractions, Pacific, USA, Washington, West

This past Saturday was International Pillow Fight Day, a day to gather with your fellow humans and pummel the hell out of each other. Like the Seattle Cardboard Tube Duels, the mayhem went down in Cal Anderson Park. The rules were simple: bring your own pillow, and try not to hit anyone with a camera. Face shots? Acceptable. Groin shots? Acceptable. Ganging up on Pikachu? Acceptable. Unlike the cardboard tube fight, the kids were super into pillow fighting. I saw one girl run by, her face twisted with concentration, screaming “GET HIM!” with almost primal fury. It was like Lord of the Flies out there.

I split my time between taking photos and engaging in tactical pillow warfare. It was a strangely uplifting experience, raining blows down upon others and having them returned in kind. There was a lot of concern before the event about the post-battle cleanup, but from what I saw, the pillows held up really well so there wasn’t much to clean up. And all of the pillows in good shape were donated to Compass Housing Alliance afterward!

Bits & bobs from the week

April 3, 2015 Comments Off read Pacific, USA, Washington, West

I’m always poised, waiting for the shutter release so I can close my eyes and take the least-flattering photo possible. That’s where I’m a Viking.

* Jason’s family was in town last weekend, so we did a ton more eating out than normal. First, we went to the Portage Bay Cafe for breakfast last weekend, where the slogan is “eat like you give a damn”. They’re all about organic, sustainable, ethically sourced foods, which is how they can get away with charging twelve bucks for oatmeal. I ordered a goat cheese omelet, imagining pillowy eggs slathered in creamy, tangy cheese. What I got was eggs with about an eighth of a teaspoon of goat cheese on top. I think I would have had to break it apart at the molecular level to get it to spread across the entirety of my eggs. Now I have to assume that was the ethical portion of cheese to include, and every other restaurant that uses more than a whisper is using cheese from a goat who has been waterboarded into giving up her cheesy bounty. If you haven’t already imagined the sounds a waterboarded goat would make, give it a try. It’s been cracking me up all week. BAAAAAWHARRGARBLE. BAAAABLLLLLL. BAAAABGBLLLLLL.

* We also hit up my favorite breakfast place that weekend, Mon Amie bakery. As it turns out, the owner goes to the same church as my brother and sister in law (formerly often referred to as a ‘cult’ in the news, so hey, that’s something). I’m used to being recognized by the employees there, but I was surprised that the owner recognized me as well, because I think she’s maybe helped me once. And when she said she recognized me, it didn’t come out in what sounded like a positive fashion, so now I’m wondering what I did or said. I always tip well, I’ve never gone in crabby, so I’m at a loss. And then when one of the baristas came to the table to clarify my drink order, I heard the other one call out “I told you so, that’s what she’s always gotten for like the last year.” Uh, maybe I need to change things up a little bit. For the record, it’s an iced blackberry white chocolate mocha and it is the fucking bomb and I only get it like once a month.

* I got my brand new camera from Olympus this week, which wraps up that saga. It both turns on AND focuses so it’s already leagues ahead of the previous two cameras. There’s a small issue of the battery catching inside when I try to remove it, but I think I’m just going to let it go for a couple of reasons: one, I am so tired of dealing with their CS (and I’m sure they’re tired of dealing with me), and two: there’s no way I could get the camera to the repair center and back before my upcoming trips. Let’s just call it good enough. For now.

* A friend recently announced her upcoming birthday theme: Jem and the Holograms. I somehow missed this one as a kid, so I’ve been watching through the series on Netflix and have subsequently been way overanalyzing a show for seven year olds. I have spent a truly outrageous amount of time thinking about the show’s message and underlying themes and rolling my eyes at myself. I’ve also been watching a lot of Walking Dead, and last night, the theme songs blended in my mind in a truly, truly, truly horrifying way.