A hike to Blue Lake

February 24, 2014 Comments Off read Pacific, The Great Outdoors, Travel, USA, Washington, West

In late October, we got a collective bug up our butts to take a hike before it was too late in the season. As an intrepid last minute planner and avid indoorswoman, I did an internet search for “fall hike Washington” and found a description of Blue Lake, which sounded lovely. “Imagine a short and easy hike to a beautiful, deep blue lake. Add in views of several stunning North Cascade peaks. Then ring the lake electric yellow of larches. Sound good? If so, definitely add this hike to your October larch march.” Sound good? It sounded great. Of course, when we arrived, we were completely and utterly unprepared for it to be the frozen pass of Mount Caradhras. I swear, you could almost hear Saruman laughing at us from on high. But damn it, we were there to hike, and we were going to hike, adverse weather conditions or no adverse weather conditions.

The hike itself was fairly easy, even in the snow. There were only a few patches where the path was muddy or icy; the worst bit was when it got icy and there was a steep drop-off to one side, so we made sure to go slow and cling to the wall so as not to have our corpses become a warning for others. I mean, yes, I live my life as a warning to others, and I imagine my death will do the same, I’m just not ready for it yet. Ostensibly, it’s called Blue Lake for the color of the lake. I can’t verify this, as the lake was frozen over on our trip. Next time I go, it will have to be in August/September so as to see for myself.

Since we found ourselves with a lot of unexpected snow, the only proper way to deal with it was to make snow angels. I may have had a numb butt for the rest of the day, but it was totally worth it.

One of these things is lying. I’m not sure which.

On the hike back to the car, it started to snow, so we redoubled our efforts to get back faster, as we didn’t have chains for the car. It was fall, it’s frankly a miracle that we had hats and gloves. It was definitely a beautiful hike, just not the hike we were expecting. Damn you, Saruman!

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“No, they’re minerals. Jesus, Marie!”

February 11, 2014 Comments Off read Attractions, Florida, South, Travel, USA

On our trip, we made certain to save some time for The Dinosaur Store & Museum in Cocoa Beach, as they reputedly have the most elaborate display of fossils for sale in the world. They don’t let you take pictures inside the store, so you’ll have to imagine precisely how elaborate that might be, but they did have some really awesome things. We ended up bringing home an ammonite from the Jurassic period, a piece of polished hematite that I thought looked cool (sort of like an insect’s eyeball), and an alligator foot cast that is perfect for giving high-fives.

We also went to Ron Jon’s surf shop as it was directly across the street. I needed a new pair of flip-flops as any semblance of padding there used to be on my old pair had long since been ground to dust under the repeated impact of my elephantine legs. I found a suitably comfortable replacement (like mini mattresses for my feet!), and while we waited in line to check out, a young girl ran up to her mother and insistently said, “Mom. MOM! I have to show you these or I might go crazy!” I was definitely intrigued and wanted to know what she was talking about. So now I have to show them to you, or I might go crazy.

You’re welcome.

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Don’t pay outrageous grocery store prices for something the farmer probably spit in!

February 10, 2014 2 Comments read Attractions, Florida, Masticating With Mellzah, South, Travel, USA

On our way back from Weeki Wachee, we saw a billboard on the highway advertising “The Showcase of Citrus”, which boasted a monster truck off-road eco tour and safari and a world-famous orange slushy. We clearly had to go; there was simply no choice in the matter. The signs tell us what to do and we do it. We ended up arriving at The Showcase of Citrus not terribly long before they closed, and as such, there was no monster truck eco tour in our future, but we were able to take a look around and see what else there was to see.

Is this something that they really need to warn people about? If you live in an area where alligators are flipping everywhere, where approximately a third of all tourist dollars go toward alligator-related amusements, do people actually forget that there are alligators out in the water? Because I grew up across the street from a manmade lake where the most dangerous thing inside was a chance of pinkeye and only the bravest of kids would put a toe in there, is what I’m saying. Once, Tommy Host swam out to the island in the middle and got diarrhea for a week, and I don’t think I ever saw anyone swim in the lake again. And all of THAT is not alligator level danger. Who forgets alligator danger?

We had no intention of missing out on a world famous orange juice slushy, and frankly, I had no intention to share, so we bought two. I don’t want to call the Showcase of Citrus people liars, but the orange juice slushy is nothing that I’d call home about. Or remember that I still had in the process of consuming it. It was really nothing you couldn’t replicate with a bottle of OJ in the freezer, if it’s something that you felt like you needed to try. If you really want to replicate the flavor, do it with a slightly sour bottle of OJ. I wonder if they have a contract with Dole?