Spotted on the Roadside: The Church of God-Zillah

July 24, 2015 Comments Off read Pacific, Spotted on the Roadside, Travel, USA, Washington, West

In the town of Zilla, WA, is a glorious pun come to life…or half-life anyway. It all started as a joke, with the reverend of the then Christian Worship Center being called the leader of the Church of God-Zillah, and being a B-movie fan, he decided to embrace it and build a fire and brimstone-breathing lure to get people to come to church. Not being one to be too prideful of his creation, however, it’s tucked behind the church instead of out front–if you didn’t go looking for it, you would have no idea it’s there. It’s my understanding that they originally intended to skin it and outfit it with motion detectors so its eyes would light up as cars passed by, but given that it was constructed almost fifteen years ago and no progress has been made on that front, the saddest little ‘zilla in Zillah languishes naked before god and everyone. All I know is if a dino with glowing red eyes showed up on my doorstep and asked if I had moment to talk about our lord and savior, I wouldn’t shut the door in his face.

Spotted on Cheyne Rd in Zillah, WA

Spotted on the Roadside: The Licorice Shrine in Poulsbo, WA

July 17, 2015 Comments Off read Attractions, Masticating With Mellzah, Pacific, Spotted on the Roadside, Travel, USA, Washington, West

There are two licorice camps: people who love black licorice, and people who are wrong. I’m a ride or die black licorice fan, so when I saw that there was a bonafide licorice shrine at the Marina Market in Poulsbo, I had to check it out.

I have never seen so much black licorice in my life. It didn’t encompass just that end cap, but another endcap as well as an entire aisle. Worlds of licorice. I didn’t even know this much black licorice variety existed! I’ve eaten salted black licorice before (and loved it) so this time I opted to try something a bit different: the spookily packaged Heksehyl Weerwolven drops, which have a soft caramel center. Holy moly, the only thing that was spooky was how fast the bag disappeared. I definitely want to try the other Heksehyl licorices (one of them looks like it might have been a minty black licorice, which I’m not sure will be good but I want to try it anyway), and I would never say no to Piratos or basically anything on that display other than red licorice which is an abomination and a crime against the licorice lords. Licorice Shrine, I’ll be back!

Spotted on Front Street in Poulsbo, WA

Spotted on the Roadside: The Golden Joan of Arc in Portland, OR

July 3, 2015 Comments Off read Oregon, Pacific, Spotted on the Roadside, Travel, USA, West

Shining and golden, Portland’s Joan of Arc looks ready to lead a charge into the traffic circle, which may be a little confusing to the cavalry (“Do we exit here? Keep going? Do we yield to those cars or do they yield to us?”) . Donated by Dr. Henry Waldo Coe in 1924, this Joan was cast from the same mold as the famous Parisian Joan and gilded with actual gold leaf, which makes it really expensive to repair her when pranksters do things like epoxy unicorn horns onto her charger. Man, city officials are going to be pissed when someone gauges Joan’s ears.

Spotted in Coe Circle in Portland, OR