Makeup as an Assault Weapon

July 28, 2011 5 Comments read Makeup

MAC is collaborating with noted photographer and artist, Cindy Sherman, who does a lot of self-photography, acting as photographer, makeup artist, hairstylist, and model. The promo images reflect that; they could be portfolio pieces. Unfortunately, they don’t make me want to buy makeup.

Their sole purpose seems to be to give me nightmares.

Me, and now, you. You’re welcome.

Furthermore, I thought her work was intended to reflect on what society expects of women–makeup and aesthetic surgeries and so on and are intended to be garish and unsettling–so why is she collaborating with a makeup company to sell products to women who feel pressured to conform to society’s beauty ideals? Or maybe that’s the reason the promo pictures are so off-putting and she’s having one over on MAC?

When anal bleaching isn’t enough…

July 28, 2011 Comments Off read Makeup

In other news, I’m twelve.

Ho’n’Go Some Mo’

July 22, 2011 5 Comments read Everything is Terrible, Makeup

When I mocked press-on eyeshadow three years ago, I had no idea that it would stick around and that other companies would follow suit. I mean, really. Press-on zebra stripes? How many occasions does one have to wear such a thing? “Let’s see, today I have to go to the gym, the grocery store to pick up some asparagus, deposit this check at the bank…I’m thinking camouflage eyeshadow. Yeah, it’s definitely a camo kind of day. Let’s reserve leopard print for the office.”

But follow suit they have, as now with a little extra money and no sense whatsoever, you can purchase temporary lip tattoos.

Yes, you too can now let total strangers know that you shouldn’t be allowed to handle money, and from a distance, perhaps even project the appearance of late-stage oral disease. Or maybe even up close, as we all know how temporary tattoos flake and peel, and who DOESN’T want a potential lover to think of leprosy when looking at their lips? Oh, BABY.

But then again, since I have a history of being wrong about these sort of things, I’d like to present you with my brand new line of cheek tattoos, Cheeky Monkey:

Clownin’ Around