Category (f)Art

Stuf that should exist

7 Comments read (f)Art, Everything is Terrible, Masticating With Mellzah

I was recently excited to hear about the upcoming Oreo triple-stuf as I am an avowed double-stuf fan, and have been known to franken two cookies together to forge a sublime quadruple-stuf. Any more stuf, and I’d have to spend time peeling it off of cookies and my stuf to mouth ratio over time goes down. I thought the triple stuf Oreo would be a gamechanger. An easy sextuple stuf within my grasp!

But NO, Nabisco, you had to go and fuck it up. An Oreo cookie is not TRIPLE stuf if the layering order is cookie, stuf, cookie, stuf, cookie. That’s triple COOKIE, not triple STUF. You’re tripling the part no one wants and ruining the delicate cookie to stuf balance!

I propose we eliminate the cookie and give the people what they want: stuf in a tube.

Lord Voldemort, Man of 1,000 Screams

4 Comments read (f)Art

Just like nearly everyone else on Earth, I’ve got my ticket to see the last Harry Potter film this weekend. It occurred to me, however, when watching the most recent trailer, that Voldemort is nearly always screaming or shouting. Really. Watch it.

While there are a couple that I may have accidentally attributed to him instead of others, I count between seven and nine distinct Voldemort screams which accounts for one approximately every seventeen seconds.

Lord Voldemort is clearly an angry, angry wizard. And then I started thinking: what else might get him all riled up and shouty?

Someone get this guy an antacid tablet before he gives himself an ulcer!