Category (f)Art

That Helen Mirren can class up anything.

A friend of mine always goes to see all of the Oscar nominated films before the awards ceremony itself, and late January/early February is a flurry of films for her. Tonight we were having dinner, and she mentioned that later this evening she’d be going to see “Albert Nobbs”, the story of a woman dressing as a man so that she might earn a living as a butler in 19th century Ireland. “That’s odd,” I exclaimed, “What’s-her-butt, uh, Helen Mirren has a butler movie out now, too! She wears a prosthetic and everything!” “Really?” my friend asked, puzzled. “Nominated?” “Oh yeah, in the makeup category I think.” “What’s it called?” “Uh..uh…The Butler’s Ding Dong…also known as “I made it up”.”

I’m lucky she didn’t reach across the table and slug me.

Now it probably should be made into a real movie. Potential taglines include: “You rang?” and “One lump or two?”

The Bigfoot Diet: Pork Chops Aplenty!

Anacortes: a town with the world’s second best fish and chips, smoked salmon phone cards, and more Sasquatch paintings than you can shake a stick at. The first Sasquatch came as a surprise. “Stop the car and look at that house!” A Sasquatch bid welcome, while an attack cat warned us to keep our distance and a mermaid floated further off indifferently. We parked the car and found more on our way to a restaurant–a Sasquatch couple, the lady of the pair holding a strategically placed flower. A Sasquatch peddling juice. A Sasquatch clutching a painter’s palette. When we found ourselves in a ceramics-painting coffee shop, what else could have served as our subject?

I began thinking about the lady Sasquatch and her carefully placed flower, and inspiration struck. While my painting skills fall somewhat short of Botticelli’s, my “Birth of Sasquatch” spoon rest will bring a touch of class to my kitchen. After we were finished, we left the pieces with the shop owner to be fired and asked if we needed to leave our names in order to pick them up–he took one look at our subject matter and figured he’d be able to keep them together without any difficulty.

I can’t wait to see them after they’ve been fired. While our masterpieces are not for sale, you can see more Anacortes sasquatch art and buy your own giant sasquatch at the artist Christine Olsen’s website.

Peter Pepper, the Pepper-Spray Cop

We wereI was hungover from Thanksgiving Part II yesterday and lazed about while playing NES games. Suddenly, I realized I could add to the pepper spray cop meme.

In other news, there was an Amish beard cutting spree which is odd enough by itself, but made more curious by the fact that it was perpetuated by other Amish wielding battery powered trimmers. This article doesn’t even begin to address the important questions, for instance, why has the lord taken a stance against buttons and electricity, but not batteries?