Sometimes when I drive home late at night, I make the mistake of turning on the Tom Leykis show. I always, always end up wanting to punch him in his ugly face. Tonight, he was talking about how fat women will only ever date losers, because they can’t take the forks out of their mouths–that rich, successful men like himself date young, hot women because they’d never choose to date a fat one.

Fine. Choice is choice. But Leykis should recognize that the only reason he’s attracting those young, hot women is because he has money–it’s not that he’s choosing THEM, they’re choosing HIS WALLET. He certainly doesn’t have anything to offer in the looks department; one might even say he has a face for radio. Also, looking at a recent picture, that dude ALSO needs to lay down the fork.

So yeah, I’d like to punch him, but I’m afraid he’d eat my hand.

This Christmas, my dad got me a copy of ‘Work Time Fun’, which bills itself as ‘SUPER FUN JOB GAME’. I was pretty freaking excited. ‘Work Time Fun’ abbreviates to WTF, and that’s certainly THE EXACT PHRASE that flitted through my mind when I opened up the sealed case to discover there was no game inside. Is this some sort of Japanese existential joke? ‘Make-a you own work time fun; hai!’ Or did Amazon want to teach me a lesson, given all of my rants about the super-commercialization of christmas? If so, well played, Amazon. Well played.

Also, if Napoleon wasn’t a total camerawhore, you’d be able to see the mystery present my grandma got for me–not booze, or porn, or guns, but awesome nonetheless; a sewing machine! No more sewing things by hand? SWEET.