BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEANS

Comedy last night was sublime, the polar opposite of the last time I was there. The only exception was the headliner, a guy going by the name of ‘Rusty’ whose schtick was basically “Hey, I’m a big fat guy who thinks getting put in the drunk tank is awesome and I hate fat chicks because they’re like, all up in my shit.”

Swell, dude. You’re the whole package, the real deal. What kind of ass do you think you’re going to pull when you’ve got bosoms that put Pamela Anderson to shame? This just in: Angelina Jolie Ditching Brad Pitt For Biggest Loser On Earth As She Needs Help Nursing Her Newborns. Next time, why don’t you try telling some jokes instead of presuming anyone gives a shit about your Halo score? How the fuck is this guy a headliner when there were great comics like Heneghen present?

32 Comments BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEANS

  1. loosechanj July 17, 2008 at 4:49 pm

    I was gonna ask if you got all up in his shit, but that would be mean.

    1. admin July 17, 2008 at 4:54 pm

      Heeeeelll no. This fat chick has too much self-respect.

  2. shadowstitch July 17, 2008 at 5:13 pm

    That photo belongs on a Jones Soda bottle.

    1. admin July 17, 2008 at 5:41 pm

      Maybe I’ll submit it. 🙂

  3. fraxl July 17, 2008 at 6:44 pm

    THAT PHOTO OMG

    i want your camera please. and your skillz.

    1. admin July 17, 2008 at 6:48 pm

      Oh, I have no skillz, just occasional good timing. 🙂

      1. uncledisgusting July 17, 2008 at 7:45 pm

        pity you couldn’t get a chant of moobs going.

        1. admin July 18, 2008 at 5:41 am

          I know. I really need to have you available at all times so this sort of opportunity doesn’t pass me by. 🙁

          1. uncledisgusting July 18, 2008 at 5:52 am

            I will be your abuse consultant.

          2. admin July 18, 2008 at 6:01 am

            Speaking of which, how did you rig your phone to rickroll telemarketers?

          3. uncledisgusting July 18, 2008 at 6:08 am

            nothing sophisticated. I have speakers on my desk. I ask them to wait a moment because I want to talk to them and that gives me enough time find of on YouTube. Then it’s phone next to speaker.

          4. admin July 18, 2008 at 6:35 am

            Ahh, I thought you’d modded your phone with Astley button, perhaps replacing the star key, which would be slick beyond imagination. Though your way works just as well! Do you put your phone on speakerphone so you can hear their reaction?

          5. mschilepepper July 18, 2008 at 6:41 am

            I … I think I love you, and I don’t even know your name!

          6. uncledisgusting July 28, 2008 at 8:46 am

            just got back from being decadent.

            i .. think i love you too…

            i have friended you as a result.

          7. mschilepepper July 28, 2008 at 5:55 pm

            Don’t hold back, tell us about the decadence!

            Also, reciprocally friendified!

  4. pretzelcoatl July 17, 2008 at 5:53 pm

    That photo reminds me of this icon I saw today. 😀

    1. admin July 17, 2008 at 5:55 pm

      HAHA that’s awesome. 😀

  5. v1c1ous July 18, 2008 at 5:30 am

    “In other news, to back up my smacktalk, I will be at Mainstage on the 22nd, 7pm.”

    Wait, as an audience member or will you be on stage?

    1. admin July 18, 2008 at 5:37 am

      I figured I could do both. 😉

      1. v1c1ous July 18, 2008 at 6:23 am

        Oh yeah, haha. I almost thought you forgot for a second there. 😛

        1. admin July 18, 2008 at 6:33 am

          Absolutely not, I wouldn’t miss it for the world!

  6. mschilepepper July 18, 2008 at 6:43 am

    All right, I’m totally there Tuesday night!

    1. admin July 18, 2008 at 4:15 pm

      AWESOME.

      1. mschilepepper July 22, 2008 at 10:23 pm

        Have caught the stomach flu, ergo, shan’t be in attendance. 🙁 Buggerit!

        Hope you kill ’em, girlie! Do let me know next time you’re doing the thing, eh?

        1. admin July 22, 2008 at 10:34 pm

          Because of the f’ing buses, I don’t even get to go myself. I’d have to take a half day off of work just to get there on time, only to be stranded or ride the gang-bus home.

          1. mschilepepper July 22, 2008 at 10:44 pm

            Well, poo, then I don’t feel quite so bad. As far as the gang-bus goes, enh, I just make it a point to sit in the front part of the coach, and mind my own beeswax and don’t engage with anyone. Which is harder these days without my damn iPod, dammit. Ah, well, it’ll get fixed soon enough.

          2. admin July 22, 2008 at 11:03 pm

            That’s the bus I’ve probably got to take home after seeing The Dark Knight IMAX–but at least Amy will be with me. Strength in numbers. She rode that one home by herself late at night once and was TERRIFIED.

          3. mschilepepper July 23, 2008 at 12:50 am

            Maybe I’m jaded and just used to it, but I don’t scare that easily. Probably helps that I’m armed, though. 😉 I’ve been annoyed by the noise levels and disgusted by the behavior/aroma of people, but never been actually afraid for my safety.

  7. katura July 18, 2008 at 9:53 am

    Great photo!

    1. admin July 18, 2008 at 4:15 pm

      Thank you!

  8. poetrix618 July 18, 2008 at 6:58 pm

    BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEANS!!

    1. admin July 18, 2008 at 7:05 pm

      THE MUSICAL FRUIT!

Comments are closed.