Date Archives April 2014

The Rocky Mountain Dinosaur Resource Center

Before we paid our admission to the Dinosaur Resource Center, I grilled the poor employee about what makes this museum different from other dinosaur museums. He told me that this is the only dinosaur museum in the world that includes fish and marine reptile fossils (aka the T-Rex of the sea) in their exhibits, and that you can also observe a working fossil laboratory; that many of the specimens we’ve seen elsewhere have been processed and sent out from this location. He also added that the things they had in their museum were real, unlike the other tourist attractions in the area (Zing! And yet we still ended up getting suckered into a few of them.).

The Oviraptor, or “chicken from hell”–you certainly didn’t see it here first, but you DID see it here, and the owner of the museum was actually brought in to collect, prepare, and restore the original find. Another selling point for the museum.

This wall mount has the goofiest expression of any I’ve ever seen.  It looks like he’s taking the ANGRIEST poop. Why don’t they sell replicas of this in the gift shop? I’d have bought one in a heartbeat, and mounted it directly opposite the toilet so guests to my home could compete in a poop-off. I can’t believe the Rocky Mountain Dinosaur Resource Center is crushing my dreams like that.

Is there a rule that all dinosaur art must have lightning or volcanoes in the background? Dinosaurs aren’t an exciting subject, so you need to jazz up the background a little?

The employee failed to mention that the fossil workers they had on site were BEAVERS with punny names. Oh, and that the beavers had the day off because there was no fossil lab work going on that I could see. Jason had to fill in as best he could.

“I’m flying, Jack!”

The employee could have saved himself a lot of breath by uttering the three magic words: “baby mammoth mummy”. SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY!

Cripple Creek: With tumbleweeds at 2, 4, and 6pm.

If you spend any time researching places to visit in Colorado, odds are, you’ll read about Cripple Creek, the once-bustling mining town that’s now overrun by the wild donkey descendents of the pack animals prospectors set loose when their gold prospects dried up. A town ruled by despotic donkeys who can be bribed with treats and will pose for photo ops? I’m in! The day was cold but clear, and both Jason and I were excited to check out history as well as the donkey despots. There’s a turn-off that overlooks the town, so the first order of business was to take photos there. The second order of business was to creep slowly through the town, looking for roaming donkeys. We looked, and looked, and looked…nothing. Things we did see: casino, casino, police officer giving a speeding ticket, casino, casino, casino, casino…no donkeys. A little disappointed, we parked in a lot near the museum, figuring we’d check it out and get the scoop on which casino the donkeys like to visit.

CLOSED. At the information center, we found out that the nearby Mollie Kathleen Gold Mine tour was also closed. The famous wild west brothel? Closed. “But we have lots of casinos!” the employee pointed out helpfully. And what of the donkeys? “Penned up for the winter.” NOT SO WILD, I GUESS. Cripple Creek? More like Crapple Creek. No donkeys. No mine tour. No museum. Just casino after casino. They may as well advertise “Come to Cripple Creek, spend your day losing money in a depressing hovel, and make sure to get a souvenir speeding ticket before you leave!” as we saw someone else being pulled over as we left. I can’t imagine why anyone would want to burn rubber to get the hell away from this place.

Look at those photo ops, just behind a fence, taunting me.

Look! A donkey! Just like on the brochure! They never said the donkeys were alive.

This is the face of disappointment. Congratulations, Cripple Creek, you made Jason sad. Are you proud?