Date Archives April 2014

It’s cold and there are wolves after me: The Manitou Cliff Dwellings

When I visited the Rocky Mountain Dinosaur Resource Center, The Manitou Cliff Dwellings were specifically called out by the employee as being completely fake and nothing more than a tourist trap. At the time, I didn’t have the resources to investigate this claim properly, and I figured that since we were already in the area, we should still go see it. Their promotional materials were a mixed bag, part of them stating that at least the gift shop and museum portion were “faithfully designed and constructed in the architectural style of the Pueblo Indians, descendants of the Anasazi” and part of them stating that they are “a rare historical treasure. Preserved under a protective red sandstone overhang, authentic Anasazi cliff dwellings, built more than 700 years ago, await you here.” Of course they want you to believe that the cliff dwellings themselves are authentic, they even throw in some mumbo-jumbo about “feel[ing] the spirits of the people who lived, worked, and communed in such spaces centuries ago.”  A little research uncovered that the truth of the matter is that no Pueblo peoples actually dwelled in these particular cliff dwellings, or even anywhere near the area–the Manitou Cliff Dwellings were constructed in the early 1900s from stones shipped hundreds of miles from a collapsed site in  Southwestern Colorado, in the style of the dwellings at Mesa Verde National Park. This would explain why this “rare historical treasure” is not a national monument, and is instead privately held. Additionally, many of the contemporary Pueblo peoples do not like being referred to as the Anasazi, which is Navajo for “ancient enemy,” so I guess really nothing about this site is respectful. And I gave them money. Damn it! OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAIn the museum, Jason said “I made one of those!” “What, you did an entire stone-rubbed pot?” “No, I never got it past the coiled turd stage. But it was a magnificent pot all the same.”

The best part by far was not even cliff dwelling related, it was paying an extra five bucks to pet and photograph the Timber Wolf hybrids on site to promote Colorado Wolf Adventures. All of their wolf dogs are rescues (they don’t and won’t breed, only rescue), and their aim is to provide wolf education to the general public, who mostly view them solely as predators, so people will get excited about protecting and conserving this necessary part of the food chain.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA   Overall verdict: Colorado Wolf Adventures is a worthwhile organization, and you shouldn’t feel badly about giving them your money. The Manitou Cliff Dwellings, on the other hand, are constructed from real stones on a web of lies, and if you’re looking for actual historical Pueblo structures, go to Mesa Verde instead.

Nom or Vom: Like regular caramel corn, but more EXTREME.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

Spotted in a gift shop on my trip to Colorado, I present to you: Mountain Dew Flavored Caramel Corn, for when you want all of the tooth-decay of “doing the dew” with added chewing.  Note that while this is Mountain Dew flavored popcorn, it does not actually contain Mountain Dew in its ingredients list, so you’re getting a knockoff. Plateau Droplets? Hill Sweat? Mound Moisture? I don’t know how you could get a proper soda flavor sans carbonation–without the carbonation, it seems like each piece has been carefully dipped in that uber-cloying soda fountain goo.

Pros: Now you can feel the urge to do parkour after eating as well as drinking, per serving, the popcorn is actually better (let’s not stretch it that far, I’ll go with “not as bad”) for you as the soda, maybe you have a vendetta against pepsico and enjoy sticking it to them a little

Cons: Soda fountain goo, inevitable hulls crammed up in your gums, the urge to do parkour, the whole point of drinking Mountain Dew is as a caffeine delivery system AND THIS HAS NO CAFFEINE, yellow #5, mouthful of “mound moisture”

Would you eat Mountain Dew flavored caramel corn?

View Results

Loading ... Loading ...