Billionaire Clive Palmer is struggling with ideas for how to spend his fortune (hint: I will happily accept gifts of both cash and extravagant homes) and is thus building Titanic II, where you can experience cruising in a ship exactly like the original, down to the menu served and costumes worn, but hopefully without that whole sinking and dying thing, or rats, or lice, or Celine Dion.

On one hand, I think this is kind of disrespectful. On the other hand, it sounds like exactly the sort of trainwreckshipwreck that would be straight up my alley, so sign me up! On my third hand…I’m only going if I can go first class, none of that belowdecks sleeping in a pile of humanity business for me. Plus, if it does sink, given that it’s a replica, I want first crack at the lifeboats.