Date Archives September 2010

“Just so you know, I can’t stick you while you’re tootsie rolling.”

Yesterday mschilepepper came over and cut me out of my clothes.

After wrapping me in nearly 120 yards of duct tape, that is, to make a me-shaped dress form in order to avoid the sort of last-minute storm of cursing that tends to happen when I sew things according to a pattern and then discover it does not fit me in the slightest because the pattern was designed with a baby elephant in mind. Also, since I plan on doing a lot more free-form work on my costume this year, it will especially help to have a three-dimensional model of myself to pin things to, and then yell at, and then punch. It’s not QUITE right, I put some of my clothes on it and the waist on the dummy is a bit bigger, but it should absolutely suffice for my costume-making purposes this year. And for the cost of one t-shirt, two rolls of duct tape, a pile of little nickels, and a ‘thank you’ dinner for a friend who had to handle my ass, it was a damn good deal, too!

It is more than a little disconcerting to have a replica of my torso impaled on a post hanging out in my living room.

Also, yes, this does mean I have a stick up my ass.

“I’m Batman!”

I’m sorry, WHAT? No. Just no. I suppose a ‘car costume’ would be an effective way to warn all of the other drivers on the road that you’re a damn moron and probably shouldn’t be allowed to handle money, much less a ton of speeding steel. Particularly when it’s a ‘costume’ that looks like it was designed by a 5 year old.

DING DING HERE COMES THE SHITMOBILE.

That swimsuit doesn’t leave much to the imagination.

Last week Tuesday, a group of people skipped work, went to Federal Way, and exposed their pasty flesh to the sun in order to blast their insides Chlorine Clean(TM) on water rides.

Shannon, Chelsea and I were there when the park first opened, and it was yet quiet enough that we were able to get on nearly all of the waterslides before we were set to meet the second wave of people at the beer garden at noon. On our way in, the bag-checker said he needed to inspect the bag of a girl next to me. He asked her if she’d brought any outside food or drinks, she said no, he touched the bag and heard the crumple of food wrappers, asked her to please remove the food, she said “What food?” and so he opened the bag and found it stuffed with Jack in the Box food. The girl said “Ohh….we aren’t allowed to bring in food?” HAR HAR. She, too, knows the power of ‘oh’ to remedy foot-in-mouth!

At noon, we were joined by Kirsti, Brian, Kyle, Ashley, Tonya, Andy, and the latter two’s children.

This year, we spent all of our time on the waterpark side of things–we could have left to go on rollercoasters, but summer weather this year has been so fleeting and proper swimming temperatures so scarce that it was nice to lounge in the water, bouncing around in the wave pool, or even just hanging out in the hot tub. We hung out almost until the park closed, at which time, I was sunburned (though not as badly as the year before) and MORE than ready to get my glasses out of the locker and be able to see again. It was such a fun day, and I’m so glad that so many awesome people were willing to ditch work and have fun in the sun!

I stole Kiki’s picture!