I came home today to this sitting out in the living room.

Let’s ignore for a moment, just for a moment, that I eat trashy cheap food because I’m lazy (and trashy, probably, let’s be honest, here) and it’s cheap, and let’s focus on something else.

WHAT KIND OF DOG DOES THIS? IS HE SECRETLY A GOAT IN DISGUISE? Or a tiger shark?

DOG. I do not starve you, you little tin-can-chewing bastard!

This sign went up at the end of my block very recently; my first thought was “Gee, thanks for the tip, as someone who lived in SoCal, my instinct is to flee across the middle, dandling a terrified child or three.” Are all of the residents of the nearby senior center and my humble apartment complex wantonly breaking the rules so often that a sign solution had to be implemented?

THEN I made the connection with another thing that had been completed recently: the add-on employee parking lot for Valley Medical, located across the street. It’s not my neighbors. It’s not the darling old people with their darling dogs dressed in darling sweaters. It’s the hospital employees. Doctors. Nurses. People whom you trust with your very life, and charge you out the ass for the privilege of being in their company, highly educated people, with no more sense than to run across the road like deer. Sure, if they get creamed by an SUV, it’s only a short trip to the five-hour emergency room line, but shouldn’t we expect better from our medical professionals? No WONDER no one from ValMed made Seattle Metro’s Top Docs 2009 list.