I’m still wicked bad.

March 23, 2009 35 Comments read Movies, Reviews

So, I finally got around to watching ‘Once Upon a Time in China’–I’ve only had it from Netflix for going on two months now. The movie synopsis on the envelope made me laugh:

“Fists and feet fly like lightning bolts when Wong Fei-hung defends a martial arts school from corrupt government officials, a renegade swordsman and an illegal slave ring. The finale, in an old warehouse, is awesome, with Li using every square inch of the structure in his intricate fight choreography.”

The finale…is awesome. Who wrote this copy? A twelve year old? I look forward to seeing more by this person: “Battlestar Galactica: Season 4.5: Robots and humans blow each other up and it kicks ass.” “Terminator 4: The explosions were like, way cool, and also totally sick, dude.” “Showgirls 2: Wow-de-dow I love boobies.”

Speaking of loving boobies, thank you to the anonymous benefactor who gifted me with three months of suicide girls time. I am now accomplishing nothing in my free time and I probably couldn’t be happier about it.

Miss Mellzah Manners’ Guide to the RSVP and You

March 17, 2009 64 Comments read Everything is Terrible

Hello, and welcome to today’s lesson: The RSVP. These are four letters you’ll often see at the bottom of an invitation for a social gathering; they stand for the French phrase ‘Répondez s’il vous plaît‘. This indicates that your hosts have requested a timely reply from you regarding your intentions to attend said social gathering, yes or no. An invitation bearing the postscript ‘Regrets only’ only requires a response from you should you find yourself unable to attend.

Your hosts have thought kindly enough of you to wish to include you in their planned event; it is your duty to extend them the same courtesy so as not to cause them undue stress in terms of food, favors, and seating arrangements.

Times have changed, and people are busier than ever before, however, rules of etiquette still apply. Hosts requesting an RSVP require a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ answer, not a ‘maybe’. Replying with a ‘maybe’ is insulting; either you can commit to attend, or you cannot. A ‘maybe’ is akin to informing your hosts that you might attend unless something better comes along, which, as you might well imagine, is very nearly the height of rudeness.

When you receive an invitation out of the hosts’ warm wishes for your company and you choose to ignore it, be warned that your hosts may not think to include you the next time, as you’ve quite clearly indicated that you do not think as fondly of your hosts’ company.

If life interferes, if weather conditions don’t permit travel, if transportation issues arise, it is important to notify your hosts of your inability to attend so that they do not hold up the proceedings on account of someone who will not be arriving.

As in all things, it pays to be courteous to your hosts. They are expending time and money on your account, and there may come a time where you would certainly appreciate the same courtesy in return.

“‘Tis a fine barn, but sure ’tis no tidepool, English.” “D’oh-eth!”

March 4, 2009 18 Comments read California, Pacific, Travel, USA, West

On Saturday, my dad and I drove to the Cabrillo National Monument and visited the tidepools; the weather was perfect, and this is the only time of year you can visit, as in the summer, low tide occurs in the middle of the night. From this area, you can look across the bay and see San Diego and Coronado, and if it’s a clear day, you can also see Mexico (specifically, Tijuana). Also in the area is the old Point Loma lighthouse.

This statue marks the place where historians believe conquistador Juan Rodriguez Cabrillo anchored his ship on his ‘voyage of discovery’ and claimed the land for Spain. The area now has a huge military presence, and the military cemetary where my grandfather was interred is less than a mile from this spot.

The rules were pretty simple–if you see a tidepool animal, and you MUST touch it, use one finger and no more pressure than you would use to touch your own eyeball. Don’t pry anything off of the rocks, and just be respectful of the area and the ecosystem. Soooooo, I was pretty angry to watch people’s kids yanking stuff out of the water and stomping on it, with not a single move made by the parents to correct their behavior. There are times in my life where I wish, hope, and pray for a deep blue sea moment. Sadly, it was not to be. This seagull was also flagrantly breaking the rules and eating an octopus.

Mr. Simpson, stop! A barnacle is a living creature!

Anemone! After we hopped around on slick rocks for a couple of hours, the tide started to come back in, and going back the way we came would have been difficult without getting soaking wet. This was less of an issue for my dad, but I only brought one pair of shoes with me on my trip, so I was interested in staying as dry as possible. We ended up having to scramble up these rocks (I’m hesitant to say ‘cliff’ as it wasn’t quite high enough, but it damn well sure felt like one–my upper body is still weak as a baby kitten and needs much more work) to get back up near where we parked the car, which was the price we had to pay for being more adventurous in the hopes of seeing something truly awesome. We both escaped without cracking our heads, so I call this a win.