I’ve made it a personal goal to watch at least one ‘scary’ movie per day in the month of October–I have to keep it lighter or cheesier on days when Amy is around as she doesn’t do so well with anything gruesome (or just watch them in my room), much in the same way that I feel I should include ‘When Harry Met Sally’ on this list; romantic comedies make my stomach churn. So far, I’m doing really well; and as an added bonus, the movies have helped me keep my Halloween mojo up so that I’m motivated to continue to sew while I watch, when ordinarily, I would’ve become disinterested/lazed off by this point.

October 1st The Haunted History of Halloween color, 1997 This documentary focused on how the holiday arrived in its present incarnation from its roots as the pagan holiday Samhain; when the Christians could not do away with it, they instead blended it with their beliefs. World Wars I and II also had an effect on the holiday, putting the emphasis more on children as adults did not have the time nor resources to celebrate, and when the children of those periods grew up, it began again to have more adult-oriented activities. At 50 minutes, it was entirely too short and never really had the opportunity to go in-depth, instead merely touching on a number of subjects. One nitpick: No matter how much they insist that everyone around the world celebrates Halloween, that Dia De Los Muertos is the same–they really don’t, and it’s really not.

South Park: Korn’s Groovy Pirate Ghost Mystery color, 1999 Pirate Ghosts or Ghost Pirates? The world may never know.

October 2nd Frankenhooker color, 1990 As soon as I read the synopsis, I knew I’d be delighted by this movie: “When his pretty fiancee is literally torn to pieces by a runaway lawnmower, Jeffrey Franken creates a scheme to bring her back to life: reassemble her from the body parts of New York City prostitutes.” WIN. This movie has it all–exploding hookers, mad scientists, SUPER CRACK, a pimp named Zorro, and “a human salad…a salad that was once named Elizabeth”.

October 3rd Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors color, 1987 The last seven elm street kids have been confined to a mental hospital staffed by Morpheus, who does not give them a choice between the red and blue pills, but rather administers sedatives so they have no choice but to dream. Whenever Will Stanton shouts “I AM THE WIZARD MASTER” it cracks me up like a woman flying upside down. But he keeps going! “In the name of Lowrek, Prince of Elves… demon, begone!” STOP IT WIZARD MASTER, YOU ARE KILLING ME. Nancy from the original Nightmare is back, and she’s supposedly ‘grown up’…but as only three years have passed since the original, the effect is of a little girl playing dress-up.

October 4th Nightmare on Elm Street 6: Freddy’s Dead color, 1991 This movie features a funnier, more cruel Freddy, and as a bonus, the ending is in glorious 3-D–I wish the WHOLE MOVIE was in 3-D, mainly because I’d love to see someone slain with a q-tip in 3-D. Sadly, the director lacked the vision necessary to make that happen for me. Cameos by Johnny Depp and Alice Cooper top off this class act.

October 5th Alien Vs. Predator color, 2004 Say what you will, I actually kind of liked this movie. It’s not a cinematic masterpiece by any means, but it has a couple of high points. I think it could’ve used less humans and more fights between the Aliens and Predators. If I start to think about it too much, the nitpicks I have are: Why is it that the Aliens only incubate for a few minutes in the human, but it takes half the movie to incubate in a Predator? How the fuck did it turn into an Alien/Predator hybrid, merely via incubation? By that logic, wouldn’t aliens incubated in humans have a different form from the Queen? (Barring the white Alien from Resurrection as it’s not quite the same thing–being liveborn vs the typical incubation.) How is cold water supposed to kill the Queen or prevent her from laying more eggs when it couldn’t kill a garden-variety alien in Alien³? Why weren’t there more Alien & Predator fights in a movie called Alien vs Predator? As you see, you really can’t think about this one too much. Ideally, if you can watch it merely with your lizard brain, you’ll come away quite satisfied.

In the following poll, YOU decide the criteria. It can be who you think would win in a fight, who you think is cooler, who you’d rather have a beer with, who you think would wink in the most cute manner during a nationally televised debate. It’s your call. I’m just keeping your voting skills prepped for November, when you’ll vote me in for Benevolent Dictator.

Up tonight: Halloween, the 2007 Rob Zombie remake.