“So, your father tells me you’re making Christmas ornaments–that’s great! I’d really like to see them!”
“…I don’t think you’d like them so much.”
“Why? Are they giant PENISES or something?”
“NO. Why is it always about penises with you, mom?”
“So, your father tells me you’re making Christmas ornaments–that’s great! I’d really like to see them!”
“…I don’t think you’d like them so much.”
“Why? Are they giant PENISES or something?”
“NO. Why is it always about penises with you, mom?”
I think your mom and my mom went to crazyschool together.
This is not the first time she’s flown at me out of left field crying ‘PENIS’; I remember vividly one year when I was about 12, I made a ‘weight loss thermometer’, big and bold and inspirational, and kept it under the bed (before I realized she was regularly digging through my room and had the keys to my diary and all of that). One day, she angrily confronted me about the ‘filth’ I had drawn. Ok, maybe I’m not a talented artist, but CHRIST I WAS TWELVE.
Crazy moms FTW.
Your turn to tell a crazy mom story.
My mom frequently punished me for stuff I did in her dreams and would yell at me for not listening to things that she thought but never said out loud.
15 or so years of that kind of crap will make anyone nutty.
Years later now, when I listen to the same bands that I did when we lived in the same house, I still hear her yelling up the stairs at me over the music.
Well now I think you’re required to make a Cthulhu tentacoo wape ornament.
‘Dream of the Fisherman’s Wife’ in clay.
…that isn’t a bad idea, actually. I wonder if it would get me banned from Etsy?
You can list it, you just have to tag it as Mature and ensure that the first thumbnail is appropriate for all ages. The worst they’d do is ask you to remove the listing, they wouldn’t ban your account over it.
:mr burns: EXCELLENT.
Once the rush on Cthulhuclaus ornaments is done (it’s nuts, they’re still selling as fast as I can make/upload them!), I think I’m going to work on some Campaign 2008 stuff–Cthulhu for President buttons and whatnot.
But in the middle somewhere, tentacoo wape.
A giant penis would make a rather unwieldy ornament. I think it would weigh the branches down a lot. Maybe it goes on top of the tree in place of the angel.
In gilt gold, obviously. And it should have a mechanism inside that alternates playing the ‘hallelujah’ chorus with ‘it’s raining men’.
And some manner of wigglin’ while it’s turned on. Preferably in time to the beat of the music.
It’ll be like that fish plaque, only awesome!
d00d, I bet you could re-jigger one of those fish plaques and make it into a wigglin’ peener!
HMMM.. It could be awesome, and yet if I did so, it would only reinforce my mom’s beliefs that I’m all about the penis. Decisions, decisions…
That is irrelevant! You must do it …
FOR SCIENCE!
Besides, you don’t have to *show* it to her!
YES! FOR SCIENCE!
Well, if the Cthulhu mythos became tentacle hentai, then maybe…
I’m more than passingly familiar with the Mythos and don’t recall side trips into pornography–H.P. Lovecraft wasn’t big on sex, and it’s been theorized that he was asexual.
Sadly, some interpretations of the Cthulhu Mythos include the literary tentacle rape that August Derleth and his squamous ilk perpetrated upon ol’ Howie’s creation.
You, sir, are so full of bologna that you should change your first name to Oscar.
I can not deny your statement but could you be more specific as to what part of what I said prompted it?
I think it was just the fact that you said it that prompted me to believe it was a filthy lie.
Alas, I have been summarized.
That’s right. I went there. And I would do it again.
clearly the sins of the father are repeated in the son.
as it were.
BATSHIT MENTAL THE PAIR OF YOU. FACT.
I
RESEMBLERESENT THAT REMARK!my sincere
HEARTY BELLY LAUGHSapologies.Well if you really want to throw her off, make giant vaginas. Then she’ll regret trying to stifle your infatuation with penii. 🙂
She’s already accused me of lesbianism more than enough times in my life, thanks.
So she wants you to be asexual then? Guess there’s just no pleasing some people.
That, or some sort of vegetable, maybe.
This may very well be the funniest thread ever.
My crazy mom happenings usually involve someone harming me in some way… as in, “don’t spend the night at a friend’s place, they’ll kill you as you sleep!!!!!” @_@
(Come to think of it, I don’t think my mother would ever say the word “penis”… willingly)
See, your mom is like ‘protective lioness’ crazy. That’s totally different from ‘batshit insane’ crazy! 😀
I’m leaving this comment in your journal waaaay back because I wanted to suggest something to you regarding our friend girlpirate.
I noticed there are definitely enough of us on her friends list who care enough about her to comment on her livejournal, and I was wondering if there are enough of us to generate a bunch of commendations at her work, but “natural” like, like three a week or something. A combination of hand-written and emailed commendations specifically praising her cake-decorating skills, her customer service skills, her unwavering dedication to go above and beyond, how impressed we are with her work, that kind of thing, all sent to the store manager.
I have actually had one of her awesome cakes and I can certainly say I’m extremely impressed, but I didn’t write any notes to say so! I was wondering if you’d be in on helping organize such a thing, passing the word along to get such a thing rolling. Since we wouldn’t want 30 people to do it all in one week, it wouldn’t have to be too vigorous, just get two or three people every week.
I have noticed she has wanted to keep it quiet exactly where she works, seeing as how she blurs out details and I was wondering if you knew how important this was to her – important enough that we wouldn’t want to give the name/physical address or web address for comments and try to coordinate mailing the info ourselves? I do want to respect her privacy and not cause her any more stress than she already has.
Let me know what you think.
Kirsti actually made my birthday cake last year, and I was thrilled with it–I told her what I wanted over the phone and she made it a reality, like it came directly from my brain and landed on a cake, and I’d be happy to write a commendation of her work (actually, I don’t know why I hadn’t thought of it before!).
As far as organizing something larger-scale, though…I dunno. It’s clear your heart is definitely in the right place, but my concern is that even if just a few rolled in every week, it might raise suspicion that she was behind it somehow. Her coworkers seem like awful, jealous people, and I’m afraid that if we did something like this, it might make things worse for her at work instead of better; that people will choose to further ostracize her and more work troubles are pretty much the last thing she needs right about now.
It’s hard to say how she would feel about privacy, because I don’t know her personally–though our internet friendship has crossed over into real life a couple of times (the cake, and I bought a necklace from her), it’s not nearly enough to say that I KNOW her. I want to say that part of being rather close-mouthed about where she works has to do with 1)not wanting her coworkers to find her blog so she can talk freely and 2)not wanting her mom to find out where she works, should she ever find her blog, much moreso than the idea of internet stalkers.
I think that if we wanted to do something nice for her, there are a few things we could do without unintentionally sabotaging her professionally. We could all chip in and get her flowers or something neat from her wishlist, which would let her know that there are lots of people who care about her, even when so much crap is going on. We can promote the hell out of her jewelery store and see if we can’t start a lightsaber jewelery craze…stuff like that. 🙂
Yeah I kinda pondered on whether her co workers would do something weird if she got commendations, ugh, I hate her co workers so much. I have had terrible jobs like that. Ugh.
I will at least write them about my birthday cake from last year, heh.
I am getting her flowers but again pondering whether to send them to home or work? God, I just don’t want to make anything WORSE, you know? I’m pretty sure I have her current address but not 100% sure, I can’t recall when she moved to where she is now.
I’ve met her only once, so I don’t really KNOW her, either, but it breaks my heart that someone so obviously talented, hard working, ethical, creative, loving and quirky would be so crapped on and not get a goddamned break. She needs a goddamned break.
I agree 100%. That’s a girl who needs a break–reading about the world dumping on her makes me so sad especially since she *does* embody all of the qualities you mentioned, and more. Sometimes I wish she were sightly less ethical so I could feel all right about baseball-batting her coworkers into next month, but in all seriousness, she deserves better than life has handed to her.
I think that if we tread carefully, we don’t have to worry about making things worse. My guess would be that if we were to send flowers, they should go to her home instead of to her workplace. And instead of writing “OMG the people you work with are a bunch of doucheturtles and Matt is a fucking ass who deserves to die in a fire after we break his knees” we could do something more subtle like “Thinking of you. Love, the internets” and she’d get it–without causing more trouble.
She posted her current address in her journal a couple of weeks ago–even with the stuff that’s currently going on, I think she would’ve mentioned something if she was staying somewhere else. 🙂