Sad to say, but I think I’ve lost my game mojo–with my DS stolen and long gone, and everything in my house obsolete and/or breaking down (goddamn you, xbox!), I’m way, way out of the loop. I have no idea what’s shiny and new and revolutionary. I didn’t understand why half my friends were practically creaming their jockeys with the release of Bioshock. Big Game Release season is right around the corner, and I’m clueless.
So having said that, I had absolutely no intention of going to the Penny Arcade Expo; if I wasn’t hosting ph34rtimmybunny, I wouldn’t be going at all. I just fear that they won’t have much there that will hold my interest. Hell, I’ve had a gamestop gift card since April, and even though I’ve gone in the store countless times since then, I haven’t seen a single thing that I want enough to even spend someone elses’ money on.
This attitude about PAX changed when I perused the PAX forum and saw the formation of the Aqua Teen Hunger Force Wendy’s Challenge 2007:
Buy one of everything on the dollar menu at Wendy’s and eat it all in one sitting! It’s a total of 15 items! Winner gets a trophy, $45, and earns the street credit of being the “King/Queen of Wendy’s”! And to be perfectly clear, you must be able to eat one of everything, toppings you dislike and all, not just 15 of one thing.
Rules:
1.) No potty breaks
2.) No help from chemicals (Pepto Bismol, Tums…ect.)
3.) No Hiding food under the table or in your lap/backpack/purse…ect.
4.) No puking
5.) No leaving your post unless accompanied by a judge
There is no way in hell that I’m participating, but hell or high water could not keep me from witnessing this event in all its…glory. Oh, pictures will be taken. It looks like they’ve got a grand total of 15 contenders going for the…glory. You know, the glory of being a clown?
If these gluttons for punishment plan events like this all weekend long, I will not be left wanting for entertainment.
And who knows, maybe I’ll get my game mojo back!
Yes! Pictures must be taken!
I’m making sure to charge my camera battery the night before!
I could win $45 for eating a ton of cheap food?
Does somewhere list the menu? Hell, I was hemming and hawing about going to PAX, but I just might be able to make the trip profitable…
then again, I’d have to eat mayo, which is yucky.
Here’s the menu.
I think I’d have a great deal of trouble getting through all that in one sitting these days, but ten years ago, with advance warning? Hells yeah! Individually, the troublesome items on that list for me would be:
the potato (not enough interesting stuff to mask the large amount of sour cream)
the Coke (lost the taste for it with my tonsils – but if I get my choice of fountain beverage, I could deal)
the chili (depending on the day; I’ve had very good and very bad chili from Wendy’s)
Why $45?
You get your choice of fountain beverage. With 15 current participants and a $3 buy-in per participant, that brings the prize to $45. If stepped up to the plate, the prize would jump to $48, plus I think spectators are planning on kickin in additional money, so the prize could end up significantly higher than that!
Ah, OK. It wasn’t clear that it was a growing prize pool, rather than ATHF’s PR people saying, “eh, 45 bucks seems right”.
It’s a moot point for me, but I think if the event happened a couple of days into a con, I might just be able to make it through. It’s certainly no worse than what I do to myself every Dragon*Con at the diner in the Day’s Inn in the middle of the night.
I would have damaged myself more last year at Dragon*Con if Chik-fil-a didn’t close so early. Or perhaps I would have damaged myself less, because then at least *something* would have been there to soak up the alcohol.
Holy shit last year was fun.
Some locations have 12 items, some people in the forums have said they’ve seen 15.
Based off of the website, you’d have to consume:
-crispy chicken sandwich
-yogurt with granola
-5 piece chicken nuggets
-jr. bacon cheeseburger
-jr. cheeseburger deluxe
-small french fries
-value soft drink
-small frosty
-small chili
-sour cream and chives baked potato
-side salad
-caesar side salad
So it’s about $12 to buy your food + a $3 buy in–only the first person to finish gets the end prize.
I will totally sponsor you, should you choose to undertake this endeavor. It’s taking place at noon here.
Dude. Our brainwavelengths are frightening.
Noon on SATURDAY, I should clarify.
The trick to this is the funkin’ salads. They are very, very dry, and pretty hard to eat all by themselves. The rest of that menu? don’t tell me I’m eating mayo, and I think I could do it. I’ll look into this.
I’m thinking that the order in which you consume is paramount to your success in this mission, and ‘mind over matter’ as far as mayo is concerned. You’re only allowed to remove toppings that you’re allergic to.
For the record- backing out (as described in the comments in my blog).
I just got back from a greasy burger lunch, and I don’t think I could make it through three times that much food.
But…what would Bender do? HE’D TAKE UP THE CHALLENGE, regardless of sheer stupidity!
If you can mix-n-match the food, no problem. I hate sour cream and I’m not fond of raw tomato, but if I can cut up the tomatoes from the sandwiches and mix them with the chili, then dump everything over the potato… Yum.
Wait, wait, not only am I stuck in LA this weekend, I’m trying to lose weight. Bad robot!
So long as 1 of each is consumed, your method is within the rules. It’s just ONE day. PAX and Wendy’s are calling you!
http://www.wendys.com/food/Family.jsp?family=5
To review:
Crispy Chicken Sandwich
Yogurt with Granola
5-piece Crispy Chicken Nuggets
Jr. Bacon Cheeseburger
Jr. Cheeseburger Deluxe
Small French Fries
Value Coca-Cola®
Small Original Chocolate Frosty™
Small Chili
Sour Cream and Chives Potato
Side Salad
Caesar Side Salad
I could so do that. It might take a while, but there’s nothing yuckky there.
So there’s another challenger? 😀
I could demolish anyone else in this eating contest, but alas and alack, I will be in Oregon on the beach.
FUCK THAT NOISE. Eating contest, Tim. EATING CONTEST.
Hit me up next year.
Damn skippy I will.
Submitted as evidence of my gross-shit eating prowess.
The empty mayonnaise packets in the “Alas, defeat” photo are just… Eww. Like used condoms left in an alley.
Dude, the whole thing is ewww. White Castle has clearly been misportrayed in pop culture film.
HOLY SHIT.
You’re obviously bringing sexy back.
I would do this in a heartbeat.
Awesome! I don’t think any ladies have signed on, it’s a shame you aren’t out here for the event. 😀
So far I have won a rotisserie chicken eating contest and a haggis eating contest, and attempted a Dragon’s Breath wing contest.
I wish I were there, even more so now than just Penny Arcade.
A haggis eating contest? Now I really wish you were here so I could place bets on you. No one suspects…the butterfly!
Is it timed? Can they have more than one winner?
There’s only one trophy & money-winner (I’m considering donating an iron-on t-shirt for the winner as well), which is based off of whomever finishes first. However, so no one misses Omegathon Round 2, there’s about an hour and a half block of time with which to get your eat on. All the other finishers just get the title “King/Queen of Wendys!”
Hmm, I wonder if I can find one of those pin-making machines tonight, and make some ‘I survived the ATHF Wendy’s Challenge 2007’ buttons? That would be pretty awesome.
Also, is it wrong I double checked the Skybus website to see how much a flight out was going for?
HAHA! If you don’t mind my dog, you can stay with me to avoid hotel charges. 😀
Next year, my Mellzah, next year.
Plus I will have all year to train!
It angers me that I am fairly confident I could conquer this challenge, yet I will not be in the vicinity when this takes place.
GODDAMN YOU LOGISTICS
No need for any anger; the nerds all dropped out of the contest. LAME.