The week drew to a close with a very special event: a rare ‘Link’ sighting. Also known as ‘Elf Boy’ and (to the less videogame inclined, or shall we say ignorant) ‘Peter Pan,’ Link is a heavyset young man who is often seen between Capitol Hill and lower Queen Anne, always wearing a dark green tunic, a brown WWF-sized leather belt, huge custom-made tan leather boots, and little green cap. Link was last seen on the #7 Metro bus with his older gentleman friend, who spent the entire ride ranting and raving about poor people needing to get jobs. Armed with his shield, and handful of Nerds, as a finale, Link pulled from his backpack what appeared to be a firearm at first but was actually a collapsible metal shovel, unfolded it, and began to wave it around, scaring the living Christ out of fellow passengers. Despite occasional spookiness, Link is still regarded as a sign of good luck, like a rainbow or a UFO: He can often be spotted waiting for a bus on Denny Way, and he’s also frequently found at a local coffee shop, playing chess in full regalia. Keep your eyes peeled.
I feel like Opus in that Bloom County comic where he finds fat Elvis eating donuts and working road construction, having faked his death to laze about.
I am sorry to shatter your dreams of the unf unf unf with Link, Ali.
I HAVE to meet this man. Link is the next costume I’m probably going to pull off and it would be awesome if I could learn where he got his boots.
Anyone who has met him would not describe him as ‘talkative’ or ‘sane’. Supposedly, a few years ago Link and what’s assumed to be his dad would beat up gays in Capitol Hill because the dad said that they had stolen the triforce from them and made it dirty (read: upside down pink triangle).
You’re better off ebaying the boots.
(edit: I R GUD SPEELUR)
Memo: get some bulletproof jackets as part of this plan
I would pay someone serious money to mess with this guy by dressing up as other characters from the series and challenge him to duels on trains. Or Zelda could walk by making out with Mario. The possibilities are truly endless.
Re: Memo: get some bulletproof jackets as part of this plan
… HOW ARE YOU SO AWESOME?
I think we should schedule a trip and do this. I totally volunteer myself as Samus.
Re: Memo: get some bulletproof jackets as part of this plan
I’ve got plenty of extra room in my apartment for you guys to stay. 😀
Good times, I’m thinking I want to be a goomba.
Re: Memo: get some bulletproof jackets as part of this plan
Wanted: One Open-Minded Femme for Vacuumforming Fun!
Re: Memo: get some bulletproof jackets as part of this plan
SNARKY COMEDY IS SADLY THE ONLY THING I’M GOOD AT.
Oui. I agree. We can make dress up as Zelda, with his golden curls, he’d be perfect.
Re: Memo: get some bulletproof jackets as part of this plan
:swoon:
Re: Memo: get some bulletproof jackets as part of this plan
This is such an awesome idea.
Suffice to say, I was entertaining the same notion when I read your reply.
“Dude I wanna dress up as Ganon, and just be sitting there reading the paper, eating a bagel…and then OUR EYES MEET and I just stop chewing and narrow my eyes…”
WE ARE SCARY.
Re: Memo: get some bulletproof jackets as part of this plan
I can totally picture this happening. And it would be AMAZING.
This plan is awesome.
Only, what happens next?
Turn to page 184 to find out!
Re: Memo: get some bulletproof jackets as part of this plan
…. YOU COULD MAKE A SPECIAL PAPER.
It could have EVIL ARTICLES. By like, Maleficent.
Re: Memo: get some bulletproof jackets as part of this plan
The stop chewing/eye narrowing image has had me laughing for hours.
Too bad you’re dressing up as Princess Zelda.
Re: Memo: get some bulletproof jackets as part of this plan
That is fantastic. I will trade you photos of it happening for a set of made-to-order Internet babies.
Re: Memo: get some bulletproof jackets as part of this plan
Are these real babies or just people on the internet who act like babies?
Re: Memo: get some bulletproof jackets as part of this plan
Depends on which you prefer. If you choose option B, I can offer you a wide range of net nuts and freaks (your choice of level and flavor of delusion). If you choose option A, let me know quick, the production line takes some time to get started.
Re: Memo: get some bulletproof jackets as part of this plan
If I choose B, are they going to be easily controllable, or are they going to start beating me, trashing my apartment & covering it with glitter, and demanding I buy them steak?
Re: Memo: get some bulletproof jackets as part of this plan
Depends. Do you want that particular nut’s LJs? I can set you up with her if you like. Otherwise, I’ve got a money-grubbing drama whore, a guy with a plan to colonize the sea, a quasi-academic who can turn from lurker to fascist pedant in a second, a couple of serial ranters (your pick of fantasy author or Iraq veteran), and an undermedicated psychotic who’s up on attempted rape charges. All of them are likely to trash your apartment, but only the drama whore brings glitter.
Re: Memo: get some bulletproof jackets as part of this plan
I’ll take the guy with the plan to colonize the sea, so long as he’s housebroken and doesn’t mind making his plans from inside a cage.
Re: Memo: get some bulletproof jackets as part of this plan
Excellent! Have. These days he hates terrorists, socialists, Muslims, and Democrats. And he’s wildly attractive to women! He has the distinction of being so annoying that the Portal of Evil itself banned him.
Link pix plz?
Re: Memo: get some bulletproof jackets as part of this plan
You’ll be the first to know when the great Link/Ganon battle goes down. First, all of these people need to make their way up from Tennessee.
Re: Memo: get some bulletproof jackets as part of this plan
HEY NOW. You didn’t mention that he also thinks he’s a combination of The Crow and an Elf. 😐
Re: Memo: get some bulletproof jackets as part of this plan
Do what? I missed that. There was a bit where he proved that he was superior to all the rest of us plebes because he got a 5.99% credit card offer in the mail, but that’s been friendslocked.
Re: Memo: get some bulletproof jackets as part of this plan
I was able to gather all that information just by looking at his userpic.
How DO you find these people, btw?
Re: Memo: get some bulletproof jackets as part of this plan
Fandom_Wank and the Portal of Evil. Don’t read the Portal, just take their suggestions for where to find the crazy. Once upon a time, I could find people like these by looking around the edges of my RL circle of friends, but those days are mostly gone and I must resort to technology for my fix of WTF.
Thank GOD.
It’s things like this that have me considering a move to the west side. Yes the commute would blow orangutangs, but it is never dull in Seattle.
I’m lucky enough (?) that I work far enough south (where 5 & 405 meet) that the commute would be the same from Seattle as it is from Redmond. I’m considering making the jump across the lake when my lease is up.
When I first moved up here I could’ve stood any commute. When I worked at Blizzard I had a forty five minute drive each way…at best. Two years of walking into work though have really spoiled me. Of course I’m moving out of walking distance no matter what. Hmmm. Redmond and sanity (but boredom) or Seattle and fun (but liver and lack of sleep hurty).
Pft. You’ll have to let me know when you’re back in town again so we can give our livers a good kick.
Will do. In theory I’m all over the next weekend. Let me know if you’re through the OT heinousness.
Should be, though there’s always a chance for it. Regardless, I’m sure I can free up at least ONE WEEKEND DAY (saturday?) for some drinking.
Saturday sounds good to me.
Want to do Fado or the Owl & Thistle? Noonish?
Sounds good. Fado has the better food. Starting there might be the better idea.
Please be making for THE CAPITOL HILL kthx.
I’ll do my best, mmmkay?
Also, please to be letting me know if you run across any awesome apartments, because I don’t think craigslist lists ALL of them.
I will being on THE LOOK OUT.
I often find the good ones only put out signs on the door. That’s how i found my place.
That’s what I figured, and I’m not in CH often enough to see those signs. 🙂 I’m looking to move at the end of May when my lease is up.
I need to get val that costume.
Val as Link FTW.
I stopped by All The Best on Saturday & they told me that you were on vacation; dammit! Nice store, though! 🙂
Is it wrong that I totally didn’t get the Zelda reference until I read other people’s comments?!
*ashamed*
YOU’RE FIRED.