“I’m Batman!”

I’m sorry, WHAT? No. Just no. I suppose a ‘car costume’ would be an effective way to warn all of the other drivers on the road that you’re a damn moron and probably shouldn’t be allowed to handle money, much less a ton of speeding steel. Particularly when it’s a ‘costume’ that looks like it was designed by a 5 year old.

DING DING HERE COMES THE SHITMOBILE.

43 Comments “I’m Batman!”

    1. admin September 2, 2010 at 6:18 pm

      D:

      Why does every woman standing in front of a car with ‘carlashes’ look drunk and terrified? What kind of product message does THAT send?

      1. aquariumspast September 2, 2010 at 6:28 pm

        Because they’re scary and you’d have to be drunk to get them?

        1. admin September 2, 2010 at 6:38 pm

          I believe the pictures are supposed to convey “Ohmygosh this is so fun and I am a fun-loving person!” but the effect is deer-in-the-eyelashed-headlights.

          1. aquariumspast September 2, 2010 at 7:01 pm

            What I want to know is, how can a car bra and carlashes go on the same general part of the car?

            Is anyone keeping track of the autonatomy here?

          2. admin September 2, 2010 at 7:03 pm

            Well, considering what ‘headlights’ are slang for, I think the bra folks are more technically correct. Technically.

          3. aquariumspast September 2, 2010 at 7:12 pm

            I am now convinced the second woman is actually laughing at the sight of them … and drunk…

  1. aquariumspast September 2, 2010 at 6:31 pm

    It’s also not very aerodynamic, is it? I mean, you’d lose a good .005 mph on your way to the party/crime scene…

    1. variax September 2, 2010 at 6:40 pm

      I think the word used in this situation should be “hairodynamic”.
      This really makes me want a car with a pompadour.

      1. aquariumspast September 2, 2010 at 7:08 pm

        I didn’t think of that because I was on the batshit car…

        However, now I’m thinking the wings are vertical because the lift they would otherwise provide might just pull you right up off the road…

        But still, they could turn them front to back, and they’d only look asinine from the side…

        Also, this icon should replace my other one in everyone’s minds…

        I hit scary instead of sixth sense … I hate when that happens…

      2. mschilepepper September 3, 2010 at 5:07 am

        !!!!!

        Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to mount a toupee of suitable proportions, made out of fake fur, on top of your car! Wait, there’s something that would be even better! Co you know anyone who has access to a live yak?

  2. matrixx September 2, 2010 at 6:46 pm

    Well, I was going to say that I wanted a bumper sticker that says “Here comes the Shitmobile!” but now I want carlashes, too. I want to fuse all the styles and create the most obnoxious vehicle known to man. Well, the most obnoxious vehicle OTHER than a BMW.

    1. admin September 2, 2010 at 7:01 pm

      You’ve got your work cut out for you!

      1. aquariumspast September 2, 2010 at 7:10 pm

        Does that one have a Jacuzzi?

      2. matrixx September 2, 2010 at 7:18 pm

        Well it’s a good thing I’ve got a lifesize bust of Rufus Wainwright.

        1. admin September 2, 2010 at 7:50 pm

          Oh shit, that could put you over the top!

          1. matrixx September 2, 2010 at 9:30 pm

            I knew if I waited long enough he’d be good for something other than snazzying up my piano. Well, that and babysitting the kids, of course.

          2. admin September 3, 2010 at 3:39 am

            So…hood ornament, right?

          3. matrixx September 3, 2010 at 12:24 pm

            Sure, after I coat it in glitter and install a speaker so he can sing Judy Garland covers while I drive.

      3. doctoreon September 2, 2010 at 9:48 pm

        Poetic justice:

        1. admin September 2, 2010 at 10:15 pm

          HAHAHAHAHA that is awesome.

      4. mschilepepper September 3, 2010 at 5:03 am

        I have neighbors who have one of those damn things. Ugh. It makes me want to punch things every time I drive by it.

  3. burtonlabs September 2, 2010 at 7:12 pm

    Completely unrelated but I wanted to thank you for introducing the word “douchecanoe” into my vocabulary.
    I got a response from a quasi-celebrity on Twitter after calling him one 😀

    1. admin September 2, 2010 at 7:50 pm

      AWESOME.

    2. morlith September 3, 2010 at 7:54 pm

      Viva la douchecanoe!

  4. weaselmom September 2, 2010 at 7:29 pm

    I am just waiting for somebody to produce the female anatomical equivalent of TruckNutz. However, I have no idea how you would actually mount it.* Imagine a car with eyelashes AND one of…those. What would we call it? Vulvos?

    *Not in that sense, you freaks.

    1. admin September 2, 2010 at 7:53 pm

      Vuh-Jeep-Jays.

      1. variax September 2, 2010 at 11:07 pm

        Volksginas.

  5. technophobe1975 September 2, 2010 at 9:22 pm

    That costs approximately $18.99 too much!

    1. admin September 2, 2010 at 9:51 pm

      I think .99 might be the right price point. *I* still wouldn’t buy it, but at least then it wouldn’t be a massive rip-off.

  6. januaryfive September 2, 2010 at 10:04 pm

    I need these. I don’t care if you think I’m up Shitmobile creek in a douchcanoe without a paddle. I can use the bat wings to row myself to Moron Shore and speed away to Twatsville with my Cape of Assholery blowing in the wind. WHEEE

    1. admin September 2, 2010 at 10:14 pm

      Your comment just caused the office-laughter-stifling maneuver known as ‘strangling chihuahua’ because that’s what it sounds like.

  7. earthdotprime September 2, 2010 at 11:24 pm

    I can’t wait for the “sexy” version of this.

    1. admin September 3, 2010 at 3:39 am

      I was totally going to photoshop one but as it turns out, I don’t quite know where to put a thong on a car.

      1. earthdotprime September 3, 2010 at 5:06 am

        over the trunk, duh.

  8. thecostumegal September 2, 2010 at 8:09 pm

    You can rest assured that I did not do that. LOL

    1. admin September 2, 2010 at 8:12 pm

      hahahahah I was certain that you had no hand in it whatsoever, because YOUR work is awesome!

      1. thecostumegal September 2, 2010 at 8:53 pm

        D’awwwww spankies 😀

        Oddly enough, we don’t do business with Target (stores) because they rip off our stuff. But it’s funny what they WILL buy from other companies.

        1. admin September 2, 2010 at 9:07 pm

          I’m still boycotting Target, anyway, but I’m always interested in what EVERY store puts out for Halloween, just to get decorating ideas.

          …this car didn’t inspire anything other than snark.

          1. thecostumegal September 2, 2010 at 9:23 pm

            How come you are boycotting Boutique Target?

          2. admin September 2, 2010 at 9:47 pm

            They donated 150K to MNForward, a committee that’s backing an anti-gay-rights politician. http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/2010/08/03/2010-08-03_target_boycotted_for_donating_150000_to_mn_rightwing_republican_tom_emmers_campa.html

            Target has apologized but hasn’t asked for their money back, so in my opinion, it’s just lip service. The company talks a big game about supporting equal rights but this action showed they don’t actually give a shit about anything other than stock dividends.

  9. morlith September 3, 2010 at 7:55 pm

    While it’s totally dorky and looks horrendous, I will point out that it fits right in with the Adam West version of Batman. ;D

Comments are closed.