Last night, I met up with Amber & Mana and a few other people and we went to the Kube 93 Haunted House, located at what used to be the Georgetown Morgue. The scares started early, as I dug through my cabinets to find canned food to donate to save money off of the ticket price and I found that the majority of everything in my cabinets was expired, some of it as far back as 2006. That’s right. I moved expired food. Twice. My attention to detail is nothing but astouding, and I’m sure you’re all duly impressed by my housekeeping abilities.
Now, shadowstitch has indicated that if Fallout has taught him anything, it’s that canned food can be good well past the expiration dates, minus a bit of radiation poisoning, HOWEVER, I feel that it’s not really in the spirit of donation to give people botulism.
I arrived early AGAIN (this is the third event in a week that I’ve showed up not just on time, but early. What’s the matter with me? Am I ill?) and hung around waiting for everyone; in the air hung the pungent odor of the loathesome HoneyBuckets, and the night was pierced by shrieks and running chainsaws. The majority of the group finally showed, and we waited together for the few remaining stragglers and watched as a clown repeatedly chased people out of the attraction with chainsaw and laughed because WE knew what was coming at the end now.
They split our group of ten up into two groups of five; I got partnered with 4 girls I’d never met before, and ended up bringing up the rear. For a while, I definitely felt like the man of the group–the other four would shriek and cover their heads and wail and moan and lil ole me bringing up the rear didn’t react at all, mainly because the pop-out scares were always directed at the front of the group. However, later in the house, people made me jump a few times by following me for a while through the pitch black areas and blowing into my hair. Toward the end, the girl in front of me was so freaked out, she grabbed for my hand and put it in a deathgrip, and this is when the clown came out of a side alley, fired up his chainsaw and started chasing us.
…I’m not going to lie, we scattered like sheep.
Running for twenty steps or so works up a hearty appetite, so afterward we all went to Beth’s Cafe, featured on Man vs Food & known for its twelve-egg omelette, which none of us were ballsy enough to order. Whilst we waited for our food, we drew pictures with crayons and admired the plethora of wax-based artwork already on the walls:
I got the bacon waffle which turned out to be even MORE delicious than it sounds. Frankly, I didn’t know it was possible to stuff so much pig product into a waffle iron and still have room for waffle batter, but I’m glad to live in a world where I know now that valiant men and women make the attempt.
All of this screaming and dining has barely sated our lust for screaming and dining, and this is why we are planning an outing to Maris Farms this Sunday, the 18th. They’ve got a Haunted Forest that is supposed to be the very best and scariest in the state (it’s a 35 minute hike!) and you’re not even supposed to show up more than 15 minutes earlier than your scheduled ticket time because the scares start from the moment you get out of your car. However, given that it’s all the way up in freaking Buckley and it’s exceedingly difficult to coordinate disparate groups of people to arrive within fifteen minutes of a specific time when we all live so far away, AND there’s stuff I (and ANY non-terrorist) would want to do there during the day ANYWAY (like MONSTER TRUCK RIDES and the triple crown of pig racing and a DESTRUCTION ZONE where they LAUNCH PUMPKINS WITH A TREBUCHET TOWARD A TRAMPOLINE (this can only end in awesome, I swear) and and and and) so I’m thinking we go for the afternoon on Sunday, leave & grab some dinner somewhere in the area, and then we’ll all be together to arrive for the Haunted Forest. Anyone interested? CAN YOU SAY NO TO THIS?
If you want to come, I would suggest buying your ticket(s) now as supposedly this attraction tends to sell out. We’re doing the 8pm time slot for the Haunted Woods, we can figure out when we’re heading up to the farm for all the other stuff closer to the 18th.
I love that you mention Man Vs. Food in regards to Beth’s. I know I’ve seen Beth’s mentioned on several food shows, but the one on Man Vs. Food made me NOT want to eat that many eggs at one time.
Ever.
this sunday or next sunday?
I NEVER want to eat eggs unless they are mixed in with other food, so pretty much anything involving the egg as a main attraction will be unappetizing to me.
This Sunday, the 18th. The Sunday after is my annual pumpkin carving shindig. 🙂
I totally can NOT go this Sunday..I have Seahawk tickets.
I do, however, want to try and make it to the pumpkin carving.
All of my normal activities in October tend to get bumped for spooky activities and sometimes I forget that normal people do not do this. 🙂 Hope to see you on the 25th, then!
All of my normal activities in October tend to get bumped for spooky activities and sometimes I forget that normal people do not do this. 🙂 Hope to see you on the 25th, then!
I totally can NOT go this Sunday..I have Seahawk tickets.
I do, however, want to try and make it to the pumpkin carving.
I NEVER want to eat eggs unless they are mixed in with other food, so pretty much anything involving the egg as a main attraction will be unappetizing to me.
This Sunday, the 18th. The Sunday after is my annual pumpkin carving shindig. 🙂
I love that you mention Man Vs. Food in regards to Beth’s. I know I’ve seen Beth’s mentioned on several food shows, but the one on Man Vs. Food made me NOT want to eat that many eggs at one time.
Ever.
this sunday or next sunday?
I can barely say no to this from thousands of miles away, but I have plans here on the 17th and the 19th and can’t really justify being on the west coast two months in a row regardless.
What are plans in the face of a monster truck ride?
I live at the corner of Arkansas, Tennessee, and Mississippi. I can find a monster truck to ride.
A good haunted forest is hard to beat, though.
I live at the corner of Arkansas, Tennessee, and Mississippi. I can find a monster truck to ride.
A good haunted forest is hard to beat, though.
What are plans in the face of a monster truck ride?
I can barely say no to this from thousands of miles away, but I have plans here on the 17th and the 19th and can’t really justify being on the west coast two months in a row regardless.
Fair warning: The people who run the Haunted Forest take a dim freakin’ view of just about everything and will kick you out for a variety of infractions. So no tippling (and they can boot you if they think you’ve been drinking). No cellphones. They even made me turn off the little sparkly bat pin on my collar. They want you to have fun but are kinda Teutonic about it. The cornfield part of the Haunted Forest trek is good and spooky. Wear stout walking shoes or boots that you don’t mind getting muddy. Have a good time!
I don’t really have a problem with them kicking out drunk jackasses or wanting people to turn off stuff that doesn’t contribute to the spooky atmosphere; however, if they kick me out on the basis of my natural retardation we gonna have ISSUES.
I don’t really have a problem with them kicking out drunk jackasses or wanting people to turn off stuff that doesn’t contribute to the spooky atmosphere; however, if they kick me out on the basis of my natural retardation we gonna have ISSUES.
Fair warning: The people who run the Haunted Forest take a dim freakin’ view of just about everything and will kick you out for a variety of infractions. So no tippling (and they can boot you if they think you’ve been drinking). No cellphones. They even made me turn off the little sparkly bat pin on my collar. They want you to have fun but are kinda Teutonic about it. The cornfield part of the Haunted Forest trek is good and spooky. Wear stout walking shoes or boots that you don’t mind getting muddy. Have a good time!
America- FUCK YEAH!
Also- Haunted woods sounds pretty fantazmic.
America- FUCK YEAH!
Also- Haunted woods sounds pretty fantazmic.