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<\/a><\/p>\nAs you can see, I painted myself in as a flaming pole-smoker.<\/p>\n I pushed for people to show up at six, but most people were running behind; we ended up pushing the start of the show back until seven in order to give the bellydancer time to finish getting ready, and hopefully have a few more people for her to perform for. In the meanwhile, conceptcanibal<\/a>‘s mom, Jodi, read tarot cards for those who wanted them read.<\/p>\n After one of the members of Pure Cirkus kindly offered to run sound for the show, Sephira took the stage. It’s hard to tell from the pictures, but she was covered head to toe in glitter, which made her glow onstage in a particularly captivating way.<\/p>\n During one of her dances, she danced out into the audience and draped a red scarf onto me and gave me a card that was tucked into the front waistband of her outfit. In the dark, no one can see you blush!<\/p>\n While the next act got ready, some Pure Cirkus performers wandered out on stilts into the audience, juggling, and interacting with the guests.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n After they were done, it was time for the first burlesque dancer.<\/p>\n Next came Phoenix, the contortionist; the MC observed that just watching her throws his back out on occasion. Please do not attempt this at home, thanks. Or if you do, don’t blame me when your foot goes flying across the room in a horrible accident.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n After Phoenix in the lineup came Inga Ing\u00e9nue<\/a>, the ‘Little Blonde Bomb’ and one of the founding members of Sinner Saint Burlesque.<\/p>\n At this point in her act, she paused, and the music paused as well. From the back, reliable George piped in with an ‘AWWWW c’mon!’, which set everyone laughing. jimhark later remarked that it was the funniest thing he’d heard in the club for weeks<\/em>. George claims that he was into the music and was upset they’d paused it, but I believe you and I can agree that’s a total lie<\/em>. After her act, the MC came back on and laughed that George was just acting as an advocate for the rest of us, which seems to fit the situation a little better!<\/p>\n When Inga left the stage, it was time for more acrobalancing. Watching this act made me sad I’d missed the first round!<\/p>\n Wrapping up the show was Mad Mat, the Indestructible Man. Even after I blinded him, he bravely forged ahead and went through with his act.<\/p>\n First, he climbed a ladder of swords.<\/p>\n Next, he bent some steel rebar using the hollow of his throat.<\/p>\n Earlier, he’d approached me and asked me if I was still relatively sober; he wanted me to walk on him wearing NAIL BOOTS. However, he was concerned that I’d hurt MYSELF by twisting an ankle or something. I was way more concerned about stabbing him through the gut with 100 nails, frankly, so I’m sort of glad they decided against it, once again, out of concern for MY safety. (I emphasize this because it blows my mind).<\/p>\n To demonstrate that the bed of nails didn’t retract, Mad Mat had audience members throw apples at the bed, which promptly stuck. This was a *nasty* bed of nails, folks. Sharp AND rusty. The MC claims Mat gets a tetanus shot every 6 weeks or so; I don’t disbelieve it.<\/p>\n Before one can go to bed, however, one must dress down appropriately. Mat? Prefers to sleep in lace underwear with garters.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Afterward, Mad Mat gave himself what’s known as a ‘steel vasectomy’ by bending steel rebar around his junk<\/em>.<\/p>\n And then she walked over to me to pull it out. To pull it out of her head<\/em>.<\/p>\n This trick is called the ‘Sword Guillotine’.<\/p>\n After nearly getting his head chopped off, Mad Mat then proceeded to catch a bullet; Xavier passed the bullets around allowing anyone who wanted to inspect them to look and touch them to ensure they’re real bullets. He then called me onstage to watch him load it into the gun.<\/p>\n It’s a tense moment.<\/p>\n Moments later, Mat presented the bullet to everyone. I figured that was the zenith of the evening. Oh no. Mat had one more trick up his sleeve for everyone.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/a> <\/a> <\/a>\u00a0 <\/a> <\/a><\/p>\n<\/a>\nHere, my flash has blinded James and Katy. I also blinded Mad Mat, who dropped his lemons. I have a whole series of ‘Here, my flash blinded _____’ pictures. I may have to make a coffee table book. Next up were some acrobalancers, whose act I didn’t see as I was in the back having my cards read. Stayce grabbed my camera and got this shot:<\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/a>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/a> <\/a> <\/a> <\/a> <\/a><\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/a>\u00a0 <\/a>\u00a0\u00a0 <\/a> <\/a> <\/a> <\/a> <\/a> <\/a> <\/a>\u00a0 <\/a> <\/a> <\/a> <\/a><\/p>\n<\/a>\u00a0 <\/a> <\/a> <\/a> <\/a> <\/a> <\/a><\/p>\n<\/a> <\/a> <\/a> <\/a><\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/a>\u00a0 <\/a><\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/a>\nThat is the best face in the history of ever.<\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/a> <\/a><\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/a>\u00a0\u00a0 <\/a> <\/a>\nI lied. THIS may be the best face in the history of ever.<\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/a>\nWhile Mat put his clothes back on, Lucky<\/span>Henny Penny stuck a wooden skewer up into her head. Up. In. Her. Head.<\/em><\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/a>\nI think that Mad Mat would make an imposing figure on Iron Chef.<\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/a> <\/a><\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n