{"id":951,"date":"2008-03-11T16:43:00","date_gmt":"2008-03-11T16:43:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/mellzah.com\/?p=951"},"modified":"2011-06-22T20:00:13","modified_gmt":"2011-06-22T20:00:13","slug":"isnt-it-a-little-bright-in-here-to-be-taking-off-my-clothes","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/index.php\/isnt-it-a-little-bright-in-here-to-be-taking-off-my-clothes\/","title":{"rendered":"Isn’t it a little…bright in here to be taking off my clothes?"},"content":{"rendered":"

Today’s defining moment:<\/p>\n

“Please put your feet up in the stirrups and spread your legs.”\n“Dr. Zhai, I like you, but not in that way<\/em>.”\n“…”\n“OH GOD OW. OW. OW.”<\/p>\n

Exeunt.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Today’s defining moment: “Please put your feet up in the stirrups and spread your legs.” “Dr. Zhai, I like you, but not in that way.” “…” “OH GOD OW. OW. OW.” Exeunt.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[114],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-951","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-everything-is-terrible"],"yoast_head":"\nIsn't it a little...bright in here to be taking off my clothes? • Mellzah<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/index.php\/isnt-it-a-little-bright-in-here-to-be-taking-off-my-clothes\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Isn't it a little...bright in here to be taking off my clothes? • Mellzah\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Today’s defining moment: “Please put your feet up in the stirrups and spread your legs.” “Dr. Zhai, I like you, but not in that way.” “…” “OH GOD OW. OW. OW.” Exeunt.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/index.php\/isnt-it-a-little-bright-in-here-to-be-taking-off-my-clothes\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Mellzah\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2008-03-11T16:43:00+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2011-06-22T20:00:13+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/09\/No-photo-logo.png\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"120\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"120\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/png\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Mellzah\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Mellzah\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/index.php\/isnt-it-a-little-bright-in-here-to-be-taking-off-my-clothes\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/index.php\/isnt-it-a-little-bright-in-here-to-be-taking-off-my-clothes\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Mellzah\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/#\/schema\/person\/258c4539d7cbedab130a65a66e1cd143\"},\"headline\":\"Isn’t it a little…bright in here to be taking off my clothes?\",\"datePublished\":\"2008-03-11T16:43:00+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2011-06-22T20:00:13+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/index.php\/isnt-it-a-little-bright-in-here-to-be-taking-off-my-clothes\/\"},\"wordCount\":44,\"commentCount\":30,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/#\/schema\/person\/258c4539d7cbedab130a65a66e1cd143\"},\"articleSection\":[\"Everything is Terrible\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/index.php\/isnt-it-a-little-bright-in-here-to-be-taking-off-my-clothes\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/index.php\/isnt-it-a-little-bright-in-here-to-be-taking-off-my-clothes\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/index.php\/isnt-it-a-little-bright-in-here-to-be-taking-off-my-clothes\/\",\"name\":\"Isn't it a little...bright in here to be taking off my clothes? • Mellzah\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/#website\"},\"datePublished\":\"2008-03-11T16:43:00+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2011-06-22T20:00:13+00:00\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/index.php\/isnt-it-a-little-bright-in-here-to-be-taking-off-my-clothes\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/index.php\/isnt-it-a-little-bright-in-here-to-be-taking-off-my-clothes\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/index.php\/isnt-it-a-little-bright-in-here-to-be-taking-off-my-clothes\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"Isn’t it a little…bright in here to be taking off my clothes?\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/\",\"name\":\"Mellzah\",\"description\":\"\",\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/#\/schema\/person\/258c4539d7cbedab130a65a66e1cd143\"},\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":{\"@type\":\"PropertyValueSpecification\",\"valueRequired\":true,\"valueName\":\"search_term_string\"}}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":[\"Person\",\"Organization\"],\"@id\":\"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/#\/schema\/person\/258c4539d7cbedab130a65a66e1cd143\",\"name\":\"Mellzah\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/8bc52d68a982a0654b9052e9adc2698e982c1f851e2c0bb7de553ebba11a7c60?s=96&d=identicon&r=pg\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/8bc52d68a982a0654b9052e9adc2698e982c1f851e2c0bb7de553ebba11a7c60?s=96&d=identicon&r=pg\",\"caption\":\"Mellzah\"},\"logo\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/\"},\"sameAs\":[\"https:\/\/mellzah.com\"]}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Isn't it a little...bright in here to be taking off my clothes? • Mellzah","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/index.php\/isnt-it-a-little-bright-in-here-to-be-taking-off-my-clothes\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Isn't it a little...bright in here to be taking off my clothes? • Mellzah","og_description":"Today’s defining moment: “Please put your feet up in the stirrups and spread your legs.” “Dr. Zhai, I like you, but not in that way.” “…” “OH GOD OW. OW. OW.” Exeunt.","og_url":"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/index.php\/isnt-it-a-little-bright-in-here-to-be-taking-off-my-clothes\/","og_site_name":"Mellzah","article_published_time":"2008-03-11T16:43:00+00:00","article_modified_time":"2011-06-22T20:00:13+00:00","og_image":[{"width":120,"height":120,"url":"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/09\/No-photo-logo.png","type":"image\/png"}],"author":"Mellzah","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Mellzah"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"Article","@id":"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/index.php\/isnt-it-a-little-bright-in-here-to-be-taking-off-my-clothes\/#article","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/index.php\/isnt-it-a-little-bright-in-here-to-be-taking-off-my-clothes\/"},"author":{"name":"Mellzah","@id":"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/#\/schema\/person\/258c4539d7cbedab130a65a66e1cd143"},"headline":"Isn’t it a little…bright in here to be taking off my clothes?","datePublished":"2008-03-11T16:43:00+00:00","dateModified":"2011-06-22T20:00:13+00:00","mainEntityOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/index.php\/isnt-it-a-little-bright-in-here-to-be-taking-off-my-clothes\/"},"wordCount":44,"commentCount":30,"publisher":{"@id":"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/#\/schema\/person\/258c4539d7cbedab130a65a66e1cd143"},"articleSection":["Everything is Terrible"],"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"CommentAction","name":"Comment","target":["https:\/\/mellzah.com\/index.php\/isnt-it-a-little-bright-in-here-to-be-taking-off-my-clothes\/#respond"]}]},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/index.php\/isnt-it-a-little-bright-in-here-to-be-taking-off-my-clothes\/","url":"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/index.php\/isnt-it-a-little-bright-in-here-to-be-taking-off-my-clothes\/","name":"Isn't it a little...bright in here to be taking off my clothes? • Mellzah","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/#website"},"datePublished":"2008-03-11T16:43:00+00:00","dateModified":"2011-06-22T20:00:13+00:00","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/index.php\/isnt-it-a-little-bright-in-here-to-be-taking-off-my-clothes\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/mellzah.com\/index.php\/isnt-it-a-little-bright-in-here-to-be-taking-off-my-clothes\/"]}]},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/index.php\/isnt-it-a-little-bright-in-here-to-be-taking-off-my-clothes\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Isn’t it a little…bright in here to be taking off my clothes?"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/#website","url":"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/","name":"Mellzah","description":"","publisher":{"@id":"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/#\/schema\/person\/258c4539d7cbedab130a65a66e1cd143"},"potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":["Person","Organization"],"@id":"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/#\/schema\/person\/258c4539d7cbedab130a65a66e1cd143","name":"Mellzah","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/8bc52d68a982a0654b9052e9adc2698e982c1f851e2c0bb7de553ebba11a7c60?s=96&d=identicon&r=pg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/8bc52d68a982a0654b9052e9adc2698e982c1f851e2c0bb7de553ebba11a7c60?s=96&d=identicon&r=pg","caption":"Mellzah"},"logo":{"@id":"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/"},"sameAs":["https:\/\/mellzah.com"]}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/951","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=951"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/951\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4102,"href":"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/951\/revisions\/4102"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=951"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=951"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=951"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}