{"id":6474,"date":"2012-12-05T17:33:27","date_gmt":"2012-12-06T01:33:27","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/?p=6474"},"modified":"2019-06-25T16:20:18","modified_gmt":"2019-06-25T23:20:18","slug":"we-have-to-check-every-bulb-oops-theres-a-little-knot-here","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/index.php\/we-have-to-check-every-bulb-oops-theres-a-little-knot-here\/","title":{"rendered":"“We have to check every bulb! Oops, there’s a little knot here…”: The Garden D’lights in Bellevue, WA"},"content":{"rendered":"

To get into the holiday spirit, I visited the Garden d’Lights<\/a> in Bellevue, an annual tarting up of the Bellevue Botanical Garden with over a half million lights…and for cheapass grinches like me, free on weeknights late in November and early in December. We were greeted by a grumpy snowman who looked like he had nothing but foul intentions for everyone, like the world’s most pissed-off snowcone.<\/p>\n

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“Well, it ain’t fucking Frosty!”<\/i><\/sup><\/p>\n

Once we passed his terrifying gaze, the garden was truly spectacular. I had previously believed that strings of lights served two purposes: to half-assedly fling at a tree, and to serve as an object to drunkenly curse at after you’d halfassedly flung them at a tree and they tangled in a knot and wouldn’t turn on. But at the Garden d’Lights, they’re used in all sorts of incredibly creative ways: replicating flowing rivers and animals and all manner of growing things! ALL manner of growing things, including what appears to be a wang in front of a hobbit hole, which my friends have kindly determined should be my new house, since wangs are apparently my bat signal.<\/p>\n

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