{"id":6399,"date":"2012-06-03T01:02:37","date_gmt":"2012-06-03T08:02:37","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/?p=6399"},"modified":"2012-06-03T01:02:37","modified_gmt":"2012-06-03T08:02:37","slug":"in-doggy-heaven-there-are-mountains-of-bones-and-you-cant-turn-around-without-sniffing-another-dogs-butt","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/index.php\/in-doggy-heaven-there-are-mountains-of-bones-and-you-cant-turn-around-without-sniffing-another-dogs-butt\/","title":{"rendered":"“In doggy heaven, there are mountains of bones and you can’t turn around without sniffing another dog’s butt!”"},"content":{"rendered":"

I fixed all of the Napoleon-killed stuffed animals we had in the house today, sneaking them downstairs underneath my shirt (dogs are so stupid, he didn’t suspect a thing until I accidentally squeaked my new massive third breast) and gave them all to him at once.<\/p>\n

He is the happiest dog in the world right now–he can’t decide which one to play with so he’ll run off with one only to come back to jealously guard the pile as if it might disappear at any moment and then select a new favorite.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I fixed all of the Napoleon-killed stuffed animals we had in the house today, sneaking them downstairs underneath my shirt (dogs are so stupid, he didn’t suspect a thing until I accidentally squeaked my new massive third breast) and gave them all to him at once. He is the happiest dog in the world right… Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":6400,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6399","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"\n"In doggy heaven, there are mountains of bones and you can't turn around without sniffing another dog's butt!" • Mellzah<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/index.php\/in-doggy-heaven-there-are-mountains-of-bones-and-you-cant-turn-around-without-sniffing-another-dogs-butt\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\""In doggy heaven, there are mountains of bones and you can't turn around without sniffing another dog's butt!" • Mellzah\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"I fixed all of the Napoleon-killed stuffed animals we had in the house today, sneaking them downstairs underneath my shirt (dogs are so stupid, he didn’t suspect a thing until I accidentally squeaked my new massive third breast) and gave them all to him at once. 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