{"id":6070,"date":"2011-12-06T20:34:55","date_gmt":"2011-12-06T20:34:55","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/?p=6070"},"modified":"2015-05-18T11:19:05","modified_gmt":"2015-05-18T18:19:05","slug":"nom-or-vom-yoo-hoo-that-burns","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/index.php\/nom-or-vom-yoo-hoo-that-burns\/","title":{"rendered":"Nom or Vom: Yoo-hoo that burns"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/12\/chocovine.jpg\"><\/p>\n<p>I&#8217;ve heard that red wine and chocolate compliment one another. I&#8217;ve heard of wines that have a chocolate note, and dessert wines. Chocovine has taken these things and applied the &#8220;if some is good, more is better&#8221; logic that has worked so well for purveyors of bacon and developed a chocolatey milky thick semi-wine-like substance. It&#8217;s chocolate milk, but for adults! It&#8217;s BoKu without Richard Lewis! It&#8217;s Yoo-hoo that burns! It&#8217;s the bacon of chocolate!<\/p>\n<p>Pros: The color is the same as the chocolate river that Augustus Gloop nearly drowns in, and anything that brings to mind the idea of a naughty child in mortal peril brings a sparkle to my eye. Their website indicates that it is the &#8220;#1 selling chocolate wine in America&#8221; (incidentally, I have the number one comedy blog written by a Mellzah). If you were in the middle of a desert dying of thirst, this would probably stave that off for a little while, though the booze would dehydrate you a little further and might give you a wicked case of drymouth so, you know, weigh your options. The videos on the website are funny, in a &#8220;We&#8217;re trying much too hard to be hip&#8221; kind of way, especially with that jazzy sex and the city style music in the background.<\/p>\n<p>Cons: Probably not classy to bring the equivalent of an adult milk box as a hostess gift. They really emphasize using this product in cocktails, which defeats the purpose of calling it wine: wine exists so you don&#8217;t have to think about stocking a billion different mixers before a party. Sweet booze is already a road to Headache City, and they want you to blend this already sweet booze into boozy sweet milkshakes? Better set up an appointment with the toilet, you&#8217;ll be getting to know it intimately after a few of those. Who has ever had a glass of chocolate milk and thought &#8220;You know what would make this better? Heartburn!&#8221;<\/p>\n<div id=\"polls-8\" class=\"wp-polls\">\n<form id=\"polls_form_8\" class=\"wp-polls-form\" action=\"\/index.php\" method=\"post\">\n<p style=\"display: none;\"><input type=\"hidden\" id=\"poll_8_nonce\" name=\"wp-polls-nonce\" value=\"f690c7031f\" \/><\/p>\n<p style=\"display: none;\"><input type=\"hidden\" name=\"poll_id\" value=\"8\" \/><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>Would you drink this?<\/strong><\/p>\n<div id=\"polls-8-ans\" class=\"wp-polls-ans\">\n<ul class=\"wp-polls-ul\">\n<li><input type=\"radio\" id=\"poll-answer-18\" name=\"poll_8\" value=\"18\" \/> <label for=\"poll-answer-18\">NOM NOM NOM<\/label><\/li>\n<li><input type=\"radio\" id=\"poll-answer-19\" name=\"poll_8\" value=\"19\" \/> <label for=\"poll-answer-19\">VOM VOM VOM<\/label><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><input type=\"button\" name=\"vote\" value=\"   Vote   \" class=\"Buttons\" onclick=\"poll_vote(8);\" \/><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><a href=\"#ViewPollResults\" onclick=\"poll_result(8); return false;\" title=\"View Results Of This Poll\">View Results<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div><\/form>\n<\/div>\n<div id=\"polls-8-loading\" class=\"wp-polls-loading\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/wp-content\/plugins\/wp-polls\/images\/loading.gif\" width=\"16\" height=\"16\" alt=\"Loading ...\" title=\"Loading ...\" class=\"wp-polls-image\" \/>&nbsp;Loading ...<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I&#8217;ve heard that red wine and chocolate compliment one another. I&#8217;ve heard of wines that have a chocolate note, and dessert wines. Chocovine has taken these things and applied the &#8220;if some is good, more is better&#8221; logic that has worked so well for purveyors of bacon and developed a chocolatey milky thick semi-wine-like substance&#8230;. <span class=\"more\"><a class=\"more-link\" href=\"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/index.php\/nom-or-vom-yoo-hoo-that-burns\/\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&#8594;<\/span><\/a><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":6071,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[101],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6070","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-nom-or-vom-2"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v26.0 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Nom or Vom: Yoo-hoo that burns &#8226; Mellzah<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/index.php\/nom-or-vom-yoo-hoo-that-burns\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Nom or Vom: Yoo-hoo that burns &#8226; Mellzah\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"I&#8217;ve heard that red wine and chocolate compliment one another. I&#8217;ve heard of wines that have a chocolate note, and dessert wines. Chocovine has taken these things and applied the &#8220;if some is good, more is better&#8221; logic that has worked so well for purveyors of bacon and developed a chocolatey milky thick semi-wine-like substance.... 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