{"id":5394,"date":"2011-07-22T08:03:59","date_gmt":"2011-07-22T08:03:59","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/?p=5394"},"modified":"2011-07-22T08:03:59","modified_gmt":"2011-07-22T08:03:59","slug":"hongo-some-mo","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/index.php\/hongo-some-mo\/","title":{"rendered":"Ho’n’Go Some Mo’"},"content":{"rendered":"

When I mocked press-on eyeshadow three years ago<\/a>, I had no idea that it would stick around and that other companies would follow suit. I mean, really<\/em>. Press-on zebra stripes? How many occasions does one have to wear such a thing? “Let’s see, today I have to go to the gym, the grocery store to pick up some asparagus, deposit this check at the bank…I’m thinking camouflage eyeshadow. Yeah, it’s definitely a camo kind of day. Let’s reserve leopard print for the office.” <\/p>\n

But follow suit they have, as now with a little extra money and no sense whatsoever, you can purchase temporary lip tattoos<\/a>. <\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Yes, you too can now let total strangers know that you shouldn’t be allowed to handle money, and from a distance, perhaps even project the appearance of late-stage oral disease. Or maybe even up close, as we all know how temporary tattoos flake and peel, and who DOESN’T want a potential lover to think of leprosy when looking at their lips? Oh, BABY.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

But then again, since I have a history of being wrong about these sort of things, I’d like to present you with my brand new line of cheek tattoos, Cheeky Monkey<\/strong>:<\/p>\n

\nClownin’ Around<\/strong><\/p>\n

\nLove that Lurch!<\/strong><\/p>\n

\nMeeeYOW, Baby<\/strong><\/p>\n

\nChillin With My Tribe<\/strong><\/p>\n

\nDolla Dolla Bill, Y’all<\/strong><\/p>\n

\nThe Beast Within<\/strong><\/p>\n

\nI’m Dating a Sparkly Vampire<\/strong><\/p>\n

Only fifteen bucks for a three-pack, and I’ll throw in a photo of a kitten wearing a hat for free<\/em>. Place your orders now!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

When I mocked press-on eyeshadow three years ago, I had no idea that it would stick around and that other companies would follow suit. I mean, really. Press-on zebra stripes? 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