{"id":29331,"date":"2015-03-27T09:00:57","date_gmt":"2015-03-27T16:00:57","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/?p=29331"},"modified":"2019-06-25T11:52:36","modified_gmt":"2019-06-25T18:52:36","slug":"spotted-on-the-roadside-the-dinosaur-doctor","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/index.php\/spotted-on-the-roadside-the-dinosaur-doctor\/","title":{"rendered":"Spotted on the Roadside: The Dinosaur Doctor"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Dr<\/a><\/p>\n

While dashing to and fro taking photos for a friend’s ridiculously demanding photo scavenger hunt, I spotted this velociraptor and immediately pulled over. First of all, I wish my orthodontist had been dinosaur themed. Mine had more of a pain theme going on, between the palate expansion and the headgear and the three years of braces and the incorrectly made retainer which shifted my teeth so much overnight that I needed braces for another entire year and the multiple shitty remarks (while my parents were out of the room) about how sad it was to do all of this work on my teeth when it was really my jutting chin that was ruining my face. Because what every child needs to be told by their orthodontist is that they essentially look like a fat Beavis. Ahem, I seem to have gotten a bit off-track. Anyway, I can appreciate a dinosaur themed orthodontist, whether that means that the orthodontist is<\/em> a dinosaur or that he treats dinosaurs or that he only uses the really old school kind of braces. I’ve also taken the liberty of shooping their statuary with an addition that I believe would make it truly next-level.<\/p>\n

\"Dinosaur<\/a><\/p>\n

Think about it, Dr. Max! \u00a0 Spotted on Main St in Monroe, WA<\/a>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

While dashing to and fro taking photos for a friend’s ridiculously demanding photo scavenger hunt, I spotted this velociraptor and immediately pulled over. First of all, I wish my orthodontist had been dinosaur themed. Mine had more of a pain theme going on, between the palate expansion and the headgear and the three years of… Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":29341,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[115,533,129,102,223,233,493],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-29331","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-fart","category-pacific","category-spotted-on-the-roadside","category-travel","category-usa","category-washington","category-west"],"yoast_head":"\nSpotted on the Roadside: The Dinosaur Doctor • Mellzah<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/index.php\/spotted-on-the-roadside-the-dinosaur-doctor\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Spotted on the Roadside: The Dinosaur Doctor • Mellzah\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"While dashing to and fro taking photos for a friend’s ridiculously demanding photo scavenger hunt, I spotted this velociraptor and immediately pulled over. First of all, I wish my orthodontist had been dinosaur themed. Mine had more of a pain theme going on, between the palate expansion and the headgear and the three years of... 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