{"id":1678,"date":"2010-05-12T11:17:00","date_gmt":"2010-05-12T11:17:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/mellzah.com\/?p=1678"},"modified":"2014-01-30T11:10:19","modified_gmt":"2014-01-30T19:10:19","slug":"honk-you","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/index.php\/honk-you\/","title":{"rendered":"Honk You!"},"content":{"rendered":"

One of the very best things about the walk home is that I can take my time through the Black River Riparian Forest and Wetland; there’s a lot of wildlife out and about, and even if I make it down the trail without having seen any animals, it’s still a prettier walk than along the street. I see blue herons from time to time (of course, never when I’ve got a camera on me!), and lately I’ve been seeing loads of baby bunnies.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

Yesterday, as I was walking home, I saw some geese with a bunch of fuzzy goslings AND I happened to have a non-cell-phone camera on me.<\/p>\n

\"27726_390254088939_3041303_n\"<\/a><\/p>\n

\"27726_390254333939_3469054_n\"<\/a><\/p>\n

The goslings were adorable, and I wanted to get a closer picture of them–of course, as I attempted to sneak up on them like a lumbering elephant, the parents began to pump their necks at me like the avian version of air jordans and hissing, which, if you’ve never heard it, doesn’t sound all that threatening. Essentially, it looks like the bird is sticking its tongue out at you in a sassy manner.<\/p>\n

I should have already learned my lesson about geese–once, when I was driving Jennzah back to her room at UW Parkside after a parental-forbidden excursion to Milwaukee, a flock of geese were blocking the road, preventing my ’88 Mercury Topaz named Bernard (which coughed blue smoke and stalled at intersections) from passing. I honked. They stayed put. I tried to drive forward to intimidate them into moving. They stayed put. It was then that Jennzah decided that she could chase them off the road on foot; why she thought this when they would not move for a sputtering deathmobile that could crunch them like ants, I do not know, but the fact remains that she got out of the car, ran into their midst, and with insane goose hivemind, they turned on her and chased her, screaming, back into my car.<\/p>\n

Even though I remembered this incident, and<\/em> was being warned by the parents not to approach their babies, I decided to try and get closer. Clearly, it was time for another Lesson About Geese.<\/p>\n

\"27726_390254343939_5840543_n\"<\/a><\/p>\n

\"27726_390254358939_291332_n\"<\/a><\/p>\n

As I approached, the parents began to herd the babies away from me, down into long grass, down to the water, places that made it yet more difficult to photograph them (and, let’s be honest, if I got very close, I probably would have tried to catch one. No, I don’t know what I’d do with it once I caught it–I’m not big on long-term planning.), forcing me to pursue them down the hill. Once the babies were safely shuffled away from me, that is when the lesson began.<\/p>\n

I swear you could hear the goose honking “YOU SON OF A BITCH, I WARNED YOU, I FUCKING WARNED YOU” as it launched its surprising bulk into my face, wings flapping, beak seeking to blind me as I shrieked and ran backward into the street, almost getting both the goose and myself creamed by a car. The goose gave up the chase at that point while the occupants of the car pointed and laughed.<\/p>\n

This morning, on my way to work, I swear I saw the same goose in the distance, giving me the eye. Can birds hold grudges?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

One of the very best things about the walk home is that I can take my time through the Black River Riparian Forest and Wetland; there’s a lot of wildlife out and about, and even if I make it down the trail without having seen any animals, it’s still a prettier walk than along the… Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":16181,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1678","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"\nHonk You! • Mellzah<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/index.php\/honk-you\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Honk You! • Mellzah\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"One of the very best things about the walk home is that I can take my time through the Black River Riparian Forest and Wetland; there’s a lot of wildlife out and about, and even if I make it down the trail without having seen any animals, it’s still a prettier walk than along the... 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