{"id":1654,"date":"2010-04-12T22:49:00","date_gmt":"2010-04-12T22:49:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/mellzah.com\/?p=1654"},"modified":"2011-06-21T21:22:39","modified_gmt":"2011-06-21T21:22:39","slug":"an-evening-of-cleaning","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/index.php\/an-evening-of-cleaning\/","title":{"rendered":"An Evening of Cleaning"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I feel like I&#8217;ve spent the whole night cleaning up one mess or another.<\/p>\n<p>The sugar bag tore when I was pouring out a cupful, scattering at least three cups worth of sugar over my counter and floor.<\/p>\n<p>I&#8217;ve now spent a considerable amount of time rinsing about a gallon of fake blood out of the tub. The good news is that it didn&#8217;t stain the tub, linoleum, or grout. The bad news is that my hand looks like I&#8217;ve spent my evening fistfucking Satan.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I feel like I&#8217;ve spent the whole night cleaning up one mess or another. The sugar bag tore when I was pouring out a cupful, scattering at least three cups worth of sugar over my counter and floor. I&#8217;ve now spent a considerable amount of time rinsing about a gallon of fake blood out of&#8230; <span class=\"more\"><a class=\"more-link\" href=\"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/index.php\/an-evening-of-cleaning\/\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&#8594;<\/span><\/a><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[114],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1654","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-everything-is-terrible"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v26.0 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>An Evening of Cleaning &#8226; Mellzah<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/index.php\/an-evening-of-cleaning\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"An Evening of Cleaning &#8226; Mellzah\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"I feel like I&#8217;ve spent the whole night cleaning up one mess or another. The sugar bag tore when I was pouring out a cupful, scattering at least three cups worth of sugar over my counter and floor. I&#8217;ve now spent a considerable amount of time rinsing about a gallon of fake blood out of... 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