{"id":1651,"date":"2010-04-08T12:01:00","date_gmt":"2010-04-08T12:01:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/mellzah.com\/?p=1651"},"modified":"2014-01-31T17:15:22","modified_gmt":"2014-02-01T01:15:22","slug":"finish-him","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/index.php\/finish-him\/","title":{"rendered":"FINISH HIM"},"content":{"rendered":"

I have determined that my upstairs neighbor must<\/em> be hosting Fight Club: Renton, as that is the only thing I can think of to explain the CONSTANT dragging and slamming sounds, some of which are so thunderous, they rattle things in my apartment. One of which was so thunderous that it actually knocked the light fixture down from over my fireplace, which exploded when it hit the carpet with glass flying everywhere–some pieces flying so far as to smack me in the face all the way over in the kitchen. This is shockingly not the first time this has happened.<\/p>\n

I have determined that it is feudin’ and a fussin’ and not the lovin’ upstairs this time that’s causing all the ruckus as I also occasionally hear shouting and screaming. It’s like living in a shitty haunted house.<\/p>\n

I have tried to avoid being the downstairs troll; I understand that having people living above you means experiencing noise when they walk around and live their lives, it’s not up to me to monitor and regulate how the neighbors upstairs live their lives, and I elected to live on the bottom floor so I could stomp around and roughhouse with the dog and play rock band drums or maybe even play some dance dance revolution without annoying anyone, and the consequences of not trying to annoy anyone else means being occasionally annoyed myself, but this is nearly constant<\/em>.<\/p>\n

On Saturday night, the upstairs averaged one wall-rattling KABOOM every five minutes, from 10 pm straight through to 3am. I get that it’s the weekend and people are up later, but whatever the fuck they are doing, one would think<\/em> they would realize they need to knock it off earlier than 3am. My patience and understanding ran out, my humanity took a step back and a furious downstairs troll emerged from the human shell, stood up on the back of her couch and began banging on the ceiling, shouting “KNOCK IT THE FUCK OFF”.<\/p>\n

…I don’t think my upstairs neighbor is going to say ‘hi’ when he sees me anymore.<\/p>\n

On the plus side, the last few nights have been blissfully silent.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I have determined that my upstairs neighbor must be hosting Fight Club: Renton, as that is the only thing I can think of to explain the CONSTANT dragging and slamming sounds, some of which are so thunderous, they rattle things in my apartment. One of which was so thunderous that it actually knocked the light… Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[114],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1651","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-everything-is-terrible"],"yoast_head":"\nFINISH HIM • Mellzah<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/index.php\/finish-him\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"FINISH HIM • Mellzah\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"I have determined that my upstairs neighbor must be hosting Fight Club: Renton, as that is the only thing I can think of to explain the CONSTANT dragging and slamming sounds, some of which are so thunderous, they rattle things in my apartment. One of which was so thunderous that it actually knocked the light... Continue reading →\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/index.php\/finish-him\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Mellzah\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2010-04-08T12:01:00+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2014-02-01T01:15:22+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/09\/No-photo-logo.png\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"120\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"120\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/png\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Mellzah\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Mellzah\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"2 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/index.php\/finish-him\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/index.php\/finish-him\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Mellzah\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/#\/schema\/person\/258c4539d7cbedab130a65a66e1cd143\"},\"headline\":\"FINISH HIM\",\"datePublished\":\"2010-04-08T12:01:00+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2014-02-01T01:15:22+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/index.php\/finish-him\/\"},\"wordCount\":360,\"commentCount\":26,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/#\/schema\/person\/258c4539d7cbedab130a65a66e1cd143\"},\"articleSection\":[\"Everything is Terrible\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/index.php\/finish-him\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/index.php\/finish-him\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/index.php\/finish-him\/\",\"name\":\"FINISH HIM • Mellzah\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/#website\"},\"datePublished\":\"2010-04-08T12:01:00+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2014-02-01T01:15:22+00:00\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/index.php\/finish-him\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/index.php\/finish-him\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/index.php\/finish-him\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"FINISH HIM\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/\",\"name\":\"Mellzah\",\"description\":\"\",\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/#\/schema\/person\/258c4539d7cbedab130a65a66e1cd143\"},\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":{\"@type\":\"PropertyValueSpecification\",\"valueRequired\":true,\"valueName\":\"search_term_string\"}}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":[\"Person\",\"Organization\"],\"@id\":\"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/#\/schema\/person\/258c4539d7cbedab130a65a66e1cd143\",\"name\":\"Mellzah\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/8bc52d68a982a0654b9052e9adc2698e982c1f851e2c0bb7de553ebba11a7c60?s=96&d=identicon&r=pg\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/8bc52d68a982a0654b9052e9adc2698e982c1f851e2c0bb7de553ebba11a7c60?s=96&d=identicon&r=pg\",\"caption\":\"Mellzah\"},\"logo\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/\"},\"sameAs\":[\"https:\/\/mellzah.com\"]}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"FINISH HIM • Mellzah","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/index.php\/finish-him\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"FINISH HIM • Mellzah","og_description":"I have determined that my upstairs neighbor must be hosting Fight Club: Renton, as that is the only thing I can think of to explain the CONSTANT dragging and slamming sounds, some of which are so thunderous, they rattle things in my apartment. One of which was so thunderous that it actually knocked the light... Continue reading →","og_url":"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/index.php\/finish-him\/","og_site_name":"Mellzah","article_published_time":"2010-04-08T12:01:00+00:00","article_modified_time":"2014-02-01T01:15:22+00:00","og_image":[{"width":120,"height":120,"url":"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/09\/No-photo-logo.png","type":"image\/png"}],"author":"Mellzah","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Mellzah","Est. reading time":"2 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"Article","@id":"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/index.php\/finish-him\/#article","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/index.php\/finish-him\/"},"author":{"name":"Mellzah","@id":"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/#\/schema\/person\/258c4539d7cbedab130a65a66e1cd143"},"headline":"FINISH HIM","datePublished":"2010-04-08T12:01:00+00:00","dateModified":"2014-02-01T01:15:22+00:00","mainEntityOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/index.php\/finish-him\/"},"wordCount":360,"commentCount":26,"publisher":{"@id":"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/#\/schema\/person\/258c4539d7cbedab130a65a66e1cd143"},"articleSection":["Everything is Terrible"],"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"CommentAction","name":"Comment","target":["https:\/\/mellzah.com\/index.php\/finish-him\/#respond"]}]},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/index.php\/finish-him\/","url":"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/index.php\/finish-him\/","name":"FINISH HIM • Mellzah","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/#website"},"datePublished":"2010-04-08T12:01:00+00:00","dateModified":"2014-02-01T01:15:22+00:00","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/index.php\/finish-him\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/mellzah.com\/index.php\/finish-him\/"]}]},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/index.php\/finish-him\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"FINISH HIM"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/#website","url":"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/","name":"Mellzah","description":"","publisher":{"@id":"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/#\/schema\/person\/258c4539d7cbedab130a65a66e1cd143"},"potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":["Person","Organization"],"@id":"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/#\/schema\/person\/258c4539d7cbedab130a65a66e1cd143","name":"Mellzah","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/8bc52d68a982a0654b9052e9adc2698e982c1f851e2c0bb7de553ebba11a7c60?s=96&d=identicon&r=pg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/8bc52d68a982a0654b9052e9adc2698e982c1f851e2c0bb7de553ebba11a7c60?s=96&d=identicon&r=pg","caption":"Mellzah"},"logo":{"@id":"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/"},"sameAs":["https:\/\/mellzah.com"]}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1651","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1651"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1651\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":9122,"href":"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1651\/revisions\/9122"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1651"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1651"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1651"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}