{"id":1633,"date":"2010-03-15T13:20:00","date_gmt":"2010-03-15T13:20:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/mellzah.com\/?p=1633"},"modified":"2017-05-24T13:52:07","modified_gmt":"2017-05-24T20:52:07","slug":"did-that-guy-just-say-he-had-a-stromboli-in-his-pants","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/index.php\/did-that-guy-just-say-he-had-a-stromboli-in-his-pants\/","title":{"rendered":"“Did that guy just say he had a stromboli in his pants?”"},"content":{"rendered":"

On Saturday, I met up with girlpirate<\/a>, mystikdragon7<\/a>, and rfjason to attend Emerald City Comic Con: The Dorkening. When I texted Kiki to let her know I’d arrived, she responded that it was insanely busy and they were headed over to Gameworks to get some food and see if the crowds would die down a bit. I decided to go in and grab my badge before heading over to Gameworks, and immediately saw what she meant, and felt it. The hall was so full of people, my claustro-people-phobia kicked in almost immediately. I’m mostly good in enclosed spaces, but when it comes to spaces crammed full of people, I am not<\/i> so good. I get a little panicky and feel a lot like nerd-punching. There, in a sentence, why I am not interested in attending PAX pretty much ever again.<\/p>\n

Luckily, before I punched any nerds, I ran into evillin<\/a>, who defused my crowd rage by ranting about slow-moving crowds herself. Soon after, I swapped my ticket for a badge and rushed back out into the fresh air.<\/p>\n

Gameworks was fairly empty, so much so that they were not serving entire sections of tables, only not informing customers of that fact who were patiently waiting for booze. Jason called out that I should flash my tits at the bartender to get him up to their table, and while I wasn’t at whip ’em out stage just yet, I did manage to get him to tell us where we actually SHOULD sit in order to be served.<\/p>\n

While we waited approximately a year and six days for them to make three orders of fries and a hot dog, we played with action figures and watched Iron Man on Jason’s phone. This one is entitled “Eat me like a rancor”.<\/p>\n

\"24176_366209008939_6283017_n\"<\/a><\/p>\n

After sating our hunger (or in my case, covering myself in an insulating layer of a 25oz, eight dollar beer), we were prepared to face the crowds again, which had actually gone down significantly to a much more manageable level.<\/p>\n

We then proceeded to mock people. Look at this guy’s pants. Can anyone tell me what’s going on with this guy’s pants? It’s sweatpants tucked into socks with shorts worn over the whole mess. Is this a thing now?<\/p>\n

\"24176_366209028939_4652110_n\"<\/a><\/p>\n

I would also like to know what’s going on with purple wig over the ponytail girl.<\/p>\n

\"24176_366209053939_1416219_n\"<\/a><\/p>\n

I had a horrible, horrible moment when I saw the guy facing the camera in the righthand corner of the purple wig photo. He looked shockingly like an ex of mine, also known as The Worst Person Alive, and I wondered if I was going to have to kill a man with a plastic lightsaber to the throat. Luckily, it was just a resemblance and no murders had to go down. Also, it was not my lightsaber, so there’s that, too. There’s only so much you can get away with, covered in blood and screaming “JEDI BUSINESS!”<\/p>\n

People I ran into at the con: evillin<\/a>, ravenmimura<\/a>, goosezilla<\/a>, strand<\/a>, amazoni<\/a> + husband, and Amber + Greg.<\/p>\n

I also ran into His Hotness, Aaron Douglas. A couple of years ago, Kiki and I both paid for pictures with Jamie Bamber, but paying for photos and autographs was not in the budget this year. Aaron is still my faaavorite, though, and I saw he’d stepped away from his booth and I ambushed the poor man, starting off the conversation with the eloquent and tactful “*GASP* HI YOU’RE MY FAAAVORITE!!!”<\/p>\n

He smiled and introduced himself, shook my hand, and I asked him if he remembered taking a picture with Tonya last year and resting his face on her chest. “Like…a shelf of boobs? Oh yeah, I remember those–uh, her!” I then inquired if the only way to get a picture with him was through, uh, official channels, and he smiled and immediately posed with me for a photo in his manly, manly arms. And at that moment, I died a little. With happiness. My faaaaaavorite.<\/p>\n

\"24176_366209048939_4073896_n\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Kiki then asked for a picture, threatening to cry if she did not get one, and he complied. I am glad to live in a world where obliging men will take photographs with fawning ladies and not ask for their money.<\/p>\n

I then took an unauthorized photo of Leonard Nimoy, causing one frazzled security guard to plead and cry. Cry on, crybaby, if Spock is allergic to photographs that don’t cost $60, you should really enclose him in an area that’s not accessible by the general public.<\/p>\n

\"24176_366209038939_4355167_n\"<\/a><\/p>\n

We saw that people were going through the line and NOT getting autographs, just saying hi, and we figured there was no reason we couldn’t do the same. The woman collecting money asked each person in line for said monies, and my response was “I am of the lower class and would just like to meet and greet” and she waved me through. Then, for a brief moment, I held Leonard Nimoy’s hand in mine, and stole his powers. Just long enough to be uncomfortable, but not long enough for him to have to ask for it back. Just at that awkward level at which I consistently operate. I guess at least I didn’t squeal “You’re my faaaaaavorite!!” this time, which is progress.<\/p>\n

One person I would’ve liked to meet but did not want to wait in the hours-long line was Jhonen Vasquez. Had I met him, I suppose our conversation would have been “OH MY GOD YOU ARE LIKE TOTALLY AWESOME AND UH LIKE WOW…UH…BYE” so neither he nor I missed much and he was probably better spared.<\/p>\n

Some dude was wandering around with a camcorder, asking people “Wil Wheaton or Sheldon Cooper?” Apparently, I was the only person to make a face and answer “I DON’T CARE.” Good luck in your dork wars, boys.<\/p>\n

After Kiki picked up her rad commission from Hijinks Ensue (which they are totally selling on their website now<\/a>), we were pretty well done for the day. Next year: so much Jedi business in more senses than you could even imagine possible.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

On Saturday, I met up with girlpirate, mystikdragon7, and rfjason to attend Emerald City Comic Con: The Dorkening. 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