{"id":1552,"date":"2009-12-21T15:33:00","date_gmt":"2009-12-21T15:33:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/mellzah.com\/?p=1552"},"modified":"2014-01-30T17:23:24","modified_gmt":"2014-01-31T01:23:24","slug":"i-want-the-job-of-the-guy-who-writes-on-the-screen-with-the-yellow-pen","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/index.php\/i-want-the-job-of-the-guy-who-writes-on-the-screen-with-the-yellow-pen\/","title":{"rendered":"I want the job of the guy who writes on the screen with the yellow pen."},"content":{"rendered":"

Yesterday, Jim and Anne picked me up to go watch the Packers-Steelers game. Before the game, I suited myself in shame:<\/p>\n

\"4201425097_6bb23ecb7a\"<\/a><\/p>\n

I should probably have a jersey or a team shirt or something other than this child-size Judas jersey for watching games in public. Brett Favre, you continue to complicate my life!<\/p>\n

Anne is a big Steeler fan and we wondered if we could watch the game without it ending in a shirt-tearing sexy mud-wrestling match.<\/p>\n

\"4203414889_4dea6eda29\"<\/a><\/p>\n

I’m proud to announce that we both remained adults throughout the course of the very close game, unlike one Bar Douchebag who clearly felt that the players could hear his shouts of “MOVE IT,FATASS!”<\/p>\n

\"4205070707_8383e7e765\"<\/a>\nOverserious chinless douchebag is overserious. I asked the waitress if I could buy him either an instant vomit shot or something that would knock him out and shut him up, and she was disinclined to grant my request, but told me if I thought he was loud NOW, I should wait and see him when he’s got a pitcher in front of him. \ud83d\ude10<\/p>\n

Other than prairie fire shots, I HAVE SO MUCH TO GIVE. Like this, the job I am completely and totally qualified for:<\/p>\n

\"Mike<\/a><\/p>\n

After the game (sniff), we went to Laughs for their cookie exchange\/white elephant\/christmas party. Jim covered me, cookie-wise (everyone was supposed to bring two dozen, and I was otherwise indisposed on Saturday) and that’s good since even though the idea was people were supposed to go home with about the same number of cookies they came with, a couple of people practically Hoovered up the tables and I would be POd if I had invested baking time for zero returns. Not that I need two dozen cookies hanging around Casa Dildarian, I’m really just standing on principle and shouting “MOVE IT, FATASS!”<\/p>\n

For my white elephant gift, I decided that it was time to pass on my magic presidential plate investment<\/a> as it had appreciated just about as much as it was going to in my safe-deposit closet, and something as gold as this was meant to be treasured by more than one person. The little girl who opened it clearly realized it was a magic plate and spent the remainder of the evening with it clasped to her chest in a ferocious hug. In exchange for the magic plate, I got some cocoa, which means there’s one less item I have to drag home from the grocery store. Everyone wins!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Yesterday, Jim and Anne picked me up to go watch the Packers-Steelers game. Before the game, I suited myself in shame: I should probably have a jersey or a team shirt or something other than this child-size Judas jersey for watching games in public. Brett Favre, you continue to complicate my life! Anne is a… Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":8292,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1552","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"\nI want the job of the guy who writes on the screen with the yellow pen. • Mellzah<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/index.php\/i-want-the-job-of-the-guy-who-writes-on-the-screen-with-the-yellow-pen\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"I want the job of the guy who writes on the screen with the yellow pen. • Mellzah\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Yesterday, Jim and Anne picked me up to go watch the Packers-Steelers game. 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