{"id":1537,"date":"2009-12-08T09:32:00","date_gmt":"2009-12-08T09:32:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/mellzah.com\/?p=1537"},"modified":"2014-01-31T17:00:27","modified_gmt":"2014-02-01T01:00:27","slug":"oooooh-that-smell-cant-you-smell-that-smell","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/index.php\/oooooh-that-smell-cant-you-smell-that-smell\/","title":{"rendered":"Oooooh, that smell! Can’t you smell that smell?"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/p>\n

Mardi sent me stuff for hosting Chicken & Porn Night<\/a>. One of these things is ‘Pure Instict’, the pheromone perfume that supposedly morphs into the scent that makes you most attractive. It’s different for everyone, and on some ladies, it smells very, very pretty. This is something I will never, ever use, as we determined at Chicken & Porn night that Pure Instinct makes ME smell like Play-Doh. Not even good<\/i> Play-Doh. The cheap homemade kind that’s crumbly and funky and no one likes. Two things: One, anyone I attract with this will either be an emotionally stunted man-child OR get me sent to prison for Pied-Pipering ACTUAL children, and two, I will never, ever in my life be bold enough to utter the phrase ‘wanna play with me?’ so this whole thing is very clearly not for me.<\/p>\n

Is there anyone reading this who wants to try it? I will ship it anywhere on this wide earth.<\/span> Claimed by the lovely girlpirate<\/a>!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Mardi sent me stuff for hosting Chicken & Porn Night. One of these things is ‘Pure Instict’, the pheromone perfume that supposedly morphs into the scent that makes you most attractive. It’s different for everyone, and on some ladies, it smells very, very pretty. This is something I will never, ever use, as we determined… Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":15951,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[114],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1537","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-everything-is-terrible"],"yoast_head":"\nOooooh, that smell! 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