{"id":1462,"date":"2009-09-29T09:56:00","date_gmt":"2009-09-29T09:56:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/mellzah.com\/?p=1462"},"modified":"2014-01-31T16:53:15","modified_gmt":"2014-02-01T00:53:15","slug":"well-goodbye-virgin-alarm","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/index.php\/well-goodbye-virgin-alarm\/","title":{"rendered":"Well, goodbye virgin alarm."},"content":{"rendered":"

On Friday night, a group of girls met up for Antoinette’s bachelorette party; she is getting married to Scott today and I couldn’t be happier for both of them. Scott is a wonderful, good man, and when I met him, his ex was making him so miserable–to see him happy now is like night and day. If you require proof of his goodness, consider that he replaced the alternator on my car in my apartment complex’s parking lot on a crappy winter day when I was working for minimum wage and couldn’t afford to take it to a shop. If you require proof of his awesomeosity, he changed the lyrics of “I’m too sexy” to be pirate-themed for my birthday.<\/p>\n

\"3960869215_60091385d8\"<\/a><\/p>\n

It isn’t a party without a penis hat cocked (see what I did there?) at a jaunty angle!<\/p>\n

See?<\/p>\n

\"3961653918_6c7f8b8801\"<\/a><\/p>\n

SEE?<\/p>\n

\"3961655912_6ceef42e98\"<\/a><\/p>\n

SEE?!?!<\/p>\n

\"3961650240_1fa52ddd09\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Cone bras are also acceptable.<\/p>\n

\"3960867355_5e75e2cf93\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Here is Antoinette with her ‘Learner’s Permit’ which is supposedly an Irish tradition. I don’t question these sorts of things when they’re told to me, especially when I’ve been drinking and it’s coming from someone with an Irish accent. I accept them as fact and then repeat them on the internet with maybe<\/em> 30 seconds of half-assed googling in an attempt to prove veracity. I’m not a journalist, people. It’s not what I do. I wear a variety of unusual hats and mock people.<\/p>\n

\"3961654608_bac77edbed\"<\/a><\/p>\n

I am theoretically invited to the wedding this evening; theoretically because I don’t know the location exactly and also because attending would involve taking a few hours off of work and I’m not sure that will be possible today. I was invited because I actually showed up to the bachelorette party whereas some of the wedding party didn’t even bother to come and THEY have been uninvited. I WOULD like to attend; Antoinette said they’re having a 50s theme and that Scotty will be serenading her at the altar and I’d love to see it.<\/p>\n

So maybe I will be getting dressed up all fancy-schmancy today. Maybe.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

On Friday night, a group of girls met up for Antoinette’s bachelorette party; she is getting married to Scott today and I couldn’t be happier for both of them. Scott is a wonderful, good man, and when I met him, his ex was making him so miserable–to see him happy now is like night and… Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":15881,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1462","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"\nWell, goodbye virgin alarm. • Mellzah<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/index.php\/well-goodbye-virgin-alarm\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Well, goodbye virgin alarm. • Mellzah\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"On Friday night, a group of girls met up for Antoinette’s bachelorette party; she is getting married to Scott today and I couldn’t be happier for both of them. 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