{"id":1363,"date":"2009-06-30T22:23:00","date_gmt":"2009-06-30T22:23:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/mellzah.com\/?p=1363"},"modified":"2015-05-18T11:25:45","modified_gmt":"2015-05-18T18:25:45","slug":"someone-take-my-scissors-away","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/index.php\/someone-take-my-scissors-away\/","title":{"rendered":"Someone Take My Scissors Away"},"content":{"rendered":"

On Sunday, a group of fine ladies congregated at poetrix618’s home to make collage paper dolls. However, first we all had to hear about how two of them went to see the Chippendales the night before and for some reason I wasn’t invited<\/em>. I am both shocked and appalled. SHOCKED AND APPALLED.<\/p>\n

After about an hour of crafting, this is what we ended up with.<\/p>\n

\"collage\"<\/a><\/p>\n

A fine lady, let us call her ‘Boolia’ for the sake of this journal, constructed this masterpiece. As you can see, her man has quite a womanish figure, and Ron Jeremy positioned on one taut thigh.<\/p>\n

\"5025_98247248939_504738939_2140045_5417204_n\"<\/a><\/p>\n

amazoni<\/a> ended up with some sort of masked dandy with his wang hanging out.<\/p>\n

\"5025_98247253939_504738939_2140046_3740928_n\"<\/a> \"5025_98247258939_504738939_2140047_896809_n\"<\/a><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Anne focused on freaking everyone within a three-block radius out.<\/p>\n

And I? Missed the point of the whole exercise.<\/p>\n

I wasn’t feeling too crafty, so I flipped through some teenybopper magazine Boolia had liberated from her dentist, read off some of the included quizzes, was told I had a ‘tampax-y commercial voice’, and decided to make some sort of summer montage that only, well…no one could love.<\/p>\n

\"5025_98247233939_504738939_2140042_980433_n\"<\/a><\/p>\n

So, that is some centerfold poster of some teen idol I don’t know named Taylor. Why, yes. That is not just THREE wolves howling at the moon<\/a> on his chest, but FIVE.<\/p>\n

\"5025_98247243939_504738939_2140044_6283631_n\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Why, yes. That IS a glittersparkle RPattz wearing a catprint dress catching a butterfly.<\/p>\n

\"5025_98247238939_504738939_2140043_6345492_n\"<\/a><\/p>\n

You’re welcome.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

On Sunday, a group of fine ladies congregated at poetrix618’s home to make collage paper dolls. However, first we all had to hear about how two of them went to see the Chippendales the night before and for some reason I wasn’t invited. I am both shocked and appalled. SHOCKED AND APPALLED. After about an… Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":15833,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[115],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1363","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-fart"],"yoast_head":"\nSomeone Take My Scissors Away • Mellzah<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/index.php\/someone-take-my-scissors-away\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Someone Take My Scissors Away • Mellzah\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"On Sunday, a group of fine ladies congregated at poetrix618’s home to make collage paper dolls. 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