{"id":1292,"date":"2009-04-23T08:18:00","date_gmt":"2009-04-23T08:18:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/mellzah.com\/?p=1292"},"modified":"2015-05-18T11:04:56","modified_gmt":"2015-05-18T18:04:56","slug":"im-a-career-girl","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/index.php\/im-a-career-girl\/","title":{"rendered":"I’m A Career Girl"},"content":{"rendered":"

<\/p>\n

My mom bought me this tiger-striped trainwreck when I was sixteen. In case you cannot tell, it’s fuzzy. It also came with a matching fuzzy miniskirt. It is unquestionably<\/em> trashy, right? (Yeah, yeah, the poor fit adds to the trashiness but the muffin top is not the issue, dude.)<\/p>\n

Yesterday, my mom called and asked what I wore to my white trash party. When I told her, she got really, really offended. “I<\/em> didn’t think it was trashy. Not with that cute skirt!”<\/p>\n

So, all along, my mom was styling me to be a high-class<\/em> hooker.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

My mom bought me this tiger-striped trainwreck when I was sixteen. In case you cannot tell, it’s fuzzy. It also came with a matching fuzzy miniskirt. It is unquestionably trashy, right? (Yeah, yeah, the poor fit adds to the trashiness but the muffin top is not the issue, dude.) Yesterday, my mom called and asked… Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":5099,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[114],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1292","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-everything-is-terrible"],"yoast_head":"\nI'm A Career Girl • Mellzah<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/index.php\/im-a-career-girl\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"I'm A Career Girl • Mellzah\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"My mom bought me this tiger-striped trainwreck when I was sixteen. 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