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Running late again? Smoov M tell you that if you miss a shift again, he gonna have to raise his pimp hand? Introducing Eye Envy–for the hooker on the go!<\/p>\n
Never again will you have to painstakingly draw on your tiger stripes, leopard print, or camouflage eyeshadow after John after John after John (EVEN though you tell him specifically not to) spooges in your good eye. Now, application takes seconds–just press and go!<\/p>\n
Just listen to this testimonial from one of our satisfied customers:<\/p>\n
“Before Eye Envy, I was doin’ my makeups and beautifyin and shit like 4 hours out of every day. With its patented Press ‘n Go technology, I’ve doubled my income and made me AND my pimp real happy. Now he don’t hit me no more, so I don’t have to spend so much damn money on concealer and sunglasses. Thank you, Eye Envy! Hey, y’all got any gum? My mouth done taste like something come up and died in there.” -Mercedes, 17<\/p>\n
Still not convinced? Here’s another testimonial:<\/p>\n
“Eye Envy’s camouflage makes me feel like I’m supporting the troops even when my pimp is whooping some army kid’s ass for not paying me enough!” – Chanterelle, 13<\/p>\n
STILL not convinced?<\/p>\n
“Meow!” -Fluffy, 8 weeks<\/p>\n
Try it for yourself–Eye Envy. Just press and go!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Running late again? Smoov M tell you that if you miss a shift again, he gonna have to raise his pimp hand? Introducing Eye Envy–for the hooker on the go! Never again will you have to painstakingly draw on your tiger stripes, leopard print, or camouflage eyeshadow after John after John after John (EVEN though… Continue reading