{"id":1159,"date":"2008-10-29T13:00:00","date_gmt":"2008-10-29T13:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/mellzah.com\/?p=1159"},"modified":"2011-09-30T02:22:57","modified_gmt":"2011-09-30T02:22:57","slug":"monster-movie-madness-part-ii","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/index.php\/monster-movie-madness-part-ii\/","title":{"rendered":"Monster Movie Madness part II"},"content":{"rendered":"

<\/p>\n

\nOctober 6th<\/strong>\nHalloween<\/em> color, 2007\nRob Zombie keeps getting better and better as a director, this time remaking the horror classic ‘Halloween’, adding in backstory and showing some sympathy for the devil, which serves to make the whole movie much scarier. I’m not surprised that diehard fans of the original hate the remake, but they can take a flying leap as far as I’m concerned, as it is their fault the series became stagnant to begin with. Originally, the Halloween movies were supposed to explore different scary stories under a common name, which explains the divergence from Michael Myers in Halloween III: Season of the Witch. But people who couldn’t get enough of seeing the same unstoppable, unspeaking, boring monster in movie after movie after movie screamed bloody murder, and Halloween became the Michael Myers chronicles. I would love to see Rob Zombie move forward with Carpenter’s original plan to make Halloween about more than just one monster.<\/p>\n

October 7th<\/strong>\nThe Worst Witch<\/em> color, 1986\nHoly shit. Hooooly shit. I can’t review it better than this<\/a>. Consider yourself warned. I very nearly choked to death while laughing at Tim Curry’s music video.<\/p>\n

God bless you, youtube.<\/p>\n

October 8th<\/strong>\nCartoon Network: 9 creepy capers<\/em> color, 2004\nYou’d think something titled ‘creepy capers’ would have some overarching creepy theme. You’d be wrong. Apparently school picture day and wondering whether or not glasses actually make you smarter count as creepy episodes. Up yours, Cartoon Network.<\/p>\n

October 9th<\/strong>\nHellraiser<\/em> color, 1987\nThis movie is simultaneously classic and soooooo 80’s. In the special features, they explained all of the character concepts, and that they actually intended for Pinhead to be sexy-scary. This makes my attraction to him feel much less abnormal, so thank you, bonus features!<\/p>\n

October 10th<\/strong>\nCreepshow<\/em> color, 1982\nI hope to someday rise from the dead screaming “I WANT MY CAKE”.<\/p>\n

October 11th<\/strong>\nLady Death<\/em> color, 2004\nWHAT A PIECE OF CRAP. I remember enjoying the Lady Death comics and being stoked at San Diego Comic-Con to find out they were making a Lady Death movie. WOW. If someone sat me down to watch this movie and had me guess what year it came out in, I certainly wouldn’t have said 2004–the animation is WAY dated.<\/p>\n

October 12th<\/strong>\nKiller Klowns from Outer Space<\/em> color, 1988\nI, for one, am glad that this movie isn’t afraid to tell the truth about clowns: They kill people.<\/p>\n

October 13th<\/strong>\nBride of the Monster<\/em> b\/w, 1956\nThis is a howlingly bad movie, and in no way do I mean that in a negative sense. If I could raise one director from the grave, it would be Edward D. Wood.<\/p>\n

October 14th<\/strong>\nElvira<\/em> color, 1988\nThis remains one of my all-time favorites. A horror hostess who talks like a valley girl? Sign me up, please!<\/p>\n

October 15th<\/strong>\nMan with the Screaming Brain<\/em> color, 2005\nBruce Campbell, I love you, and I love B movies, but this movie sucks. At several points while watching this movie, I prayed for death. Struck by lightning, spontaneous combustion, SOMETHING other than having to finish this movie.<\/p>\n

October 16th<\/strong>\nBlack Sheep<\/em> color, 2006\nThis is not the movie you think it is. No Chris Farley, no down home American countryside–this movie is set in New Zealand, with genetically altered sheep on a killing rampage, and just a teeny-tiny bit of sheep fucking. At one point, it apes The Two Towers, with hundreds of sheep cascading over a hill. I thought it was brilliant and immensely entertaining.<\/p>\n

October 17th<\/strong>\nThe Terminator<\/em> color,1984\nMurderous robots from the future, I love you.<\/p>\n

October 18th<\/strong>\nAlien Vs Predator 2: Requiem<\/em> color (black is a color, yes?),2007\nI can’t say that you didn’t warn me this movie was garbage. Nicki’s fiance told me he liked it better than the first one, so I gave it a chance. PHEW. For a movie with a huge budget, you’d think they could afford a light or three. It’s SO DARK, first set in the woods at night, then in a sewer, then in a town at night with the power knocked out, that 90% of the time, I couldn’t see what was going on. Fight scenes would happen and I’d have no idea who was killing who. The humans in this movie are even more irritating than in the last version and I only wish they’d nuked the town a little sooner to save me from watching it.<\/p>\n

October 19th<\/strong>\nFido<\/em> color, 2006\nI never would have thought that a movie about a zombie could be so endearingly sweet and charming!<\/p>\n

October 20th<\/strong>\nSimpsons Halloween specials, seasons 13-19<\/em> color, various\nTheir Halloween specials are always enjoyable, even when they’re rehashing old ground.<\/p>\n

October 21st<\/strong>\nAlien<\/em> color, 1979\nI know I have been excessively heavy on Alien movies this month, but when I was on vacation, I watched what Matt & Nicki had, and they aren’t big horror fans, I guess. STILL GREAT.<\/p>\n

October 22nd<\/strong>\nThe Curious Dr. Humpp<\/em> b\/w, 1967\nSci-fi and horror meets Skinemax: This movie is genius. You get hippies, lesbians, strippers, cheesy monsters, a telepathic sex machine, and a talking\/ spontaneously combusting brain, along with a short of a woman making love to a paper skeleton. Oh sweet Cthulhu, I love this movie.<\/p>\n

October 23rd<\/strong>\nTeenagers from Outer Space<\/em> b\/w, 1959\nI love that the teenagers are being played by middle-aged men, but I do sympathize with the aliens–I’d like to feed people to giant lobsters on occasion, too. It reminds me of Mondo Trasho, and I really wouldn’t be surprised if John Waters loved this one, too.<\/p>\n

October 24th<\/strong>\nBela Lugosi Meets a Brooklyn Gorilla<\/em> b\/w, 1952\nBela Lugosi during his Ed Wood\/Sterno-huffing years, on the island of ‘Coca-Cola’, looking for guinea pigs for his latest experiment. Awful and wonderful!<\/p>\n

October 25th<\/strong>\nSouth Park Halloween Special, ‘Spooky Fish’<\/em>\nHilarity!<\/p>\n

October 26th<\/strong>\nNight of the Living Dead in 3D<\/em> color,\nWhat’s better than Sid Haig? Sid Haig in 3-D!<\/p>\n

October 27th<\/strong>\nMST3K: Manos: Hands of Fate<\/em>color, 1993\nThe people who made this movie should be dragged out into a street and shot. From a cannon. The scary thing about the innkeeper Torgo? His stutter and giant knees. GIANT KNEES, OH GOD RUN.<\/p>\n

October 28th<\/strong>\nCriss Angel Mindfreak: Halloween Special<\/em> color, 2005\nGoing into this special, I was unfamiliar with Criss Angel, I’d just done a Netflix search for “Halloween” to fill up this year’s list. (Had I known they were going to throttle the hell out of me this month, I’d have been more selective.) Amy had said something or another about him being attractive, but neglected to mention that he is a total tool<\/em>. He’s trying SO HARD to be ‘edgy’, he comes off like one of those guys who comes up to girls in goth clubs swearing he’s a honest-to-god vampire, no really, ‘I vant to drink your blood, bwah!’ only with a rotten accent. It’d be campy if he wasn’t trying so very hard to be cool, instead it comes off as pathetic and sad. He reiterates over and over that he’d like to be the Houdini of our generation. I’m throwing it out there that it’s never going to happen. There are other magicians who are better known for their escapes than Criss Angel, and on the other side of things, Penn & Teller are carrying Houdini’s torch with the brilliantly-executed ‘Bullshit’. I was so busy rolling my eyes during this that I accidentally stabbed myself with a needle something like seven times. WHAT A TOOL.<\/p>\n

Tonight: The premiere of Junkbucket<\/a>!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":4538,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[105,103],"tags":[120],"class_list":["post-1159","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-movies","category-reviews","tag-monster-movie"],"yoast_head":"\nMonster Movie Madness part II • Mellzah<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/index.php\/monster-movie-madness-part-ii\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Monster Movie Madness part II • Mellzah\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" 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