{"id":1022,"date":"2008-05-16T07:10:00","date_gmt":"2008-05-16T07:10:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/mellzah.com\/?p=1022"},"modified":"2011-07-01T23:39:48","modified_gmt":"2011-07-01T23:39:48","slug":"i-wanna-put-my-tender-banana-in-a-blender","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/index.php\/i-wanna-put-my-tender-banana-in-a-blender\/","title":{"rendered":"I wanna put my tender&#8230;banana&#8230;.in a blender"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I finally got my blender yesterday! I broke it in this morning, making a <span style=\"text-decoration: line-through;\">slushy alcohol beverage<\/span>healthy smoothie. It could be nice, getting up early enough to make a breakfast of sorts and giving myself some time to get ready for work as opposed to the typical &#8216;hit snooze until I have to rush around in a cyclone of despair, all the while shouting &#8216;where are my goddamned keys?!?&#8217; and arriving to work looking like a homeless person&#8217; thing I normally do. In my defense, 6am tended to pack more of a punch until just recently, when the sun decided to join the party.<\/p>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2008\/05\/2496437769_5a34bd1ca8.jpg\" alt=\"\" \/><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I finally got my blender yesterday! I broke it in this morning, making a slushy alcohol beveragehealthy smoothie. It could be nice, getting up early enough to make a breakfast of sorts and giving myself some time to get ready for work as opposed to the typical &#8216;hit snooze until I have to rush around&#8230; <span class=\"more\"><a class=\"more-link\" href=\"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/index.php\/i-wanna-put-my-tender-banana-in-a-blender\/\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&#8594;<\/span><\/a><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":4670,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[109],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1022","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-masticating-with-mellzah-2"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v26.0 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>I wanna put my tender...banana....in a blender &#8226; Mellzah<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/index.php\/i-wanna-put-my-tender-banana-in-a-blender\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"I wanna put my tender...banana....in a blender &#8226; Mellzah\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"I finally got my blender yesterday! I broke it in this morning, making a slushy alcohol beveragehealthy smoothie. It could be nice, getting up early enough to make a breakfast of sorts and giving myself some time to get ready for work as opposed to the typical &#8216;hit snooze until I have to rush around... Continue reading &#8594;\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/index.php\/i-wanna-put-my-tender-banana-in-a-blender\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Mellzah\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2008-05-16T07:10:00+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2011-07-01T23:39:48+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2008\/05\/2496437769_5a34bd1ca8.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"500\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"333\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Mellzah\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Mellzah\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"1 minute\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/index.php\/i-wanna-put-my-tender-banana-in-a-blender\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/index.php\/i-wanna-put-my-tender-banana-in-a-blender\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Mellzah\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/#\/schema\/person\/258c4539d7cbedab130a65a66e1cd143\"},\"headline\":\"I wanna put my tender&#8230;banana&#8230;.in a blender\",\"datePublished\":\"2008-05-16T07:10:00+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2011-07-01T23:39:48+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/index.php\/i-wanna-put-my-tender-banana-in-a-blender\/\"},\"wordCount\":114,\"commentCount\":23,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/#\/schema\/person\/258c4539d7cbedab130a65a66e1cd143\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/index.php\/i-wanna-put-my-tender-banana-in-a-blender\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2008\/05\/2496437769_5a34bd1ca8.jpg\",\"articleSection\":[\"Masticating With Mellzah\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/index.php\/i-wanna-put-my-tender-banana-in-a-blender\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/index.php\/i-wanna-put-my-tender-banana-in-a-blender\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/index.php\/i-wanna-put-my-tender-banana-in-a-blender\/\",\"name\":\"I wanna put my tender...banana....in a blender &#8226; Mellzah\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/index.php\/i-wanna-put-my-tender-banana-in-a-blender\/#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/index.php\/i-wanna-put-my-tender-banana-in-a-blender\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2008\/05\/2496437769_5a34bd1ca8.jpg\",\"datePublished\":\"2008-05-16T07:10:00+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2011-07-01T23:39:48+00:00\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/index.php\/i-wanna-put-my-tender-banana-in-a-blender\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/index.php\/i-wanna-put-my-tender-banana-in-a-blender\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/index.php\/i-wanna-put-my-tender-banana-in-a-blender\/#primaryimage\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2008\/05\/2496437769_5a34bd1ca8.jpg\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2008\/05\/2496437769_5a34bd1ca8.jpg\",\"width\":\"500\",\"height\":\"333\"},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/index.php\/i-wanna-put-my-tender-banana-in-a-blender\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"I wanna put my tender&#8230;banana&#8230;.in a blender\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/\",\"name\":\"Mellzah\",\"description\":\"\",\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/#\/schema\/person\/258c4539d7cbedab130a65a66e1cd143\"},\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":{\"@type\":\"PropertyValueSpecification\",\"valueRequired\":true,\"valueName\":\"search_term_string\"}}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":[\"Person\",\"Organization\"],\"@id\":\"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/#\/schema\/person\/258c4539d7cbedab130a65a66e1cd143\",\"name\":\"Mellzah\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/8bc52d68a982a0654b9052e9adc2698e982c1f851e2c0bb7de553ebba11a7c60?s=96&d=identicon&r=pg\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/8bc52d68a982a0654b9052e9adc2698e982c1f851e2c0bb7de553ebba11a7c60?s=96&d=identicon&r=pg\",\"caption\":\"Mellzah\"},\"logo\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/\"},\"sameAs\":[\"https:\/\/mellzah.com\"]}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"I wanna put my tender...banana....in a blender &#8226; Mellzah","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/index.php\/i-wanna-put-my-tender-banana-in-a-blender\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"I wanna put my tender...banana....in a blender &#8226; Mellzah","og_description":"I finally got my blender yesterday! I broke it in this morning, making a slushy alcohol beveragehealthy smoothie. It could be nice, getting up early enough to make a breakfast of sorts and giving myself some time to get ready for work as opposed to the typical &#8216;hit snooze until I have to rush around... Continue reading &#8594;","og_url":"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/index.php\/i-wanna-put-my-tender-banana-in-a-blender\/","og_site_name":"Mellzah","article_published_time":"2008-05-16T07:10:00+00:00","article_modified_time":"2011-07-01T23:39:48+00:00","og_image":[{"width":500,"height":333,"url":"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2008\/05\/2496437769_5a34bd1ca8.jpg","type":"image\/jpeg"}],"author":"Mellzah","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Mellzah","Est. reading time":"1 minute"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"Article","@id":"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/index.php\/i-wanna-put-my-tender-banana-in-a-blender\/#article","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/index.php\/i-wanna-put-my-tender-banana-in-a-blender\/"},"author":{"name":"Mellzah","@id":"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/#\/schema\/person\/258c4539d7cbedab130a65a66e1cd143"},"headline":"I wanna put my tender&#8230;banana&#8230;.in a blender","datePublished":"2008-05-16T07:10:00+00:00","dateModified":"2011-07-01T23:39:48+00:00","mainEntityOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/index.php\/i-wanna-put-my-tender-banana-in-a-blender\/"},"wordCount":114,"commentCount":23,"publisher":{"@id":"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/#\/schema\/person\/258c4539d7cbedab130a65a66e1cd143"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/index.php\/i-wanna-put-my-tender-banana-in-a-blender\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2008\/05\/2496437769_5a34bd1ca8.jpg","articleSection":["Masticating With Mellzah"],"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"CommentAction","name":"Comment","target":["https:\/\/mellzah.com\/index.php\/i-wanna-put-my-tender-banana-in-a-blender\/#respond"]}]},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/index.php\/i-wanna-put-my-tender-banana-in-a-blender\/","url":"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/index.php\/i-wanna-put-my-tender-banana-in-a-blender\/","name":"I wanna put my tender...banana....in a blender &#8226; Mellzah","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/index.php\/i-wanna-put-my-tender-banana-in-a-blender\/#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/index.php\/i-wanna-put-my-tender-banana-in-a-blender\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2008\/05\/2496437769_5a34bd1ca8.jpg","datePublished":"2008-05-16T07:10:00+00:00","dateModified":"2011-07-01T23:39:48+00:00","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/index.php\/i-wanna-put-my-tender-banana-in-a-blender\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/mellzah.com\/index.php\/i-wanna-put-my-tender-banana-in-a-blender\/"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/index.php\/i-wanna-put-my-tender-banana-in-a-blender\/#primaryimage","url":"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2008\/05\/2496437769_5a34bd1ca8.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2008\/05\/2496437769_5a34bd1ca8.jpg","width":"500","height":"333"},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/index.php\/i-wanna-put-my-tender-banana-in-a-blender\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"I wanna put my tender&#8230;banana&#8230;.in a blender"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/#website","url":"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/","name":"Mellzah","description":"","publisher":{"@id":"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/#\/schema\/person\/258c4539d7cbedab130a65a66e1cd143"},"potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":["Person","Organization"],"@id":"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/#\/schema\/person\/258c4539d7cbedab130a65a66e1cd143","name":"Mellzah","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/8bc52d68a982a0654b9052e9adc2698e982c1f851e2c0bb7de553ebba11a7c60?s=96&d=identicon&r=pg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/8bc52d68a982a0654b9052e9adc2698e982c1f851e2c0bb7de553ebba11a7c60?s=96&d=identicon&r=pg","caption":"Mellzah"},"logo":{"@id":"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/"},"sameAs":["https:\/\/mellzah.com"]}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1022","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1022"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1022\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4671,"href":"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1022\/revisions\/4671"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/4670"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1022"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1022"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mellzah.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1022"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}